Fuggin Bored

Fuck 'em all, got a goose in my glovebox

I'm wearin' Ariat's and I don't even wear socks

I tell them boys in the fancy ol' truck, hook 'em up

Square body when I fuckin' square up (Woo)

Boot scootin' boogie in my knee cap jeans

You got a gun but you're scared of me

I be on a beat and I don't even grow no tomatoes

You can't touch me like a really hot ass potato (Woo)

Walk around with my neck muscles flexed out

Pocket full of money and some goddamn rainbow trout

Fuck fishin' license I don't need that

Hit the game warden smack dab in his little gonads

I'm lighter than a truck on fire, swervin'

Hotter than a distillery full of bourbon

Nice twenty-two by fourteens, I hope you curb 'em

Get some bullet holes, son-of-bitches, do you some learning', fuggin'

Mountain Dew-Dew on the haters like a commode

Deliver Bigfoot dust, that's why I go beast mode

And they ain't gonna catch me, cameraman too slow

To be redneck'r than me, there ain't no loophole

Pullin' up leaking' oil 'cause I'm slicker

I must be a Husqvarna, I'm a tad big thicker

Got a tootsie pop shawty, all I wanna do is lick her

I go hard, not even my own pecker is stiffer

I got a friend with a mullet, a friend with a musket

A friend with a chicken and some corn in a bucket

Every time I see wood all I wanna do is chuck it

Bonfire bigger than a rich guy's house, fuggin'

Rubber baby buggy bumpers, Alan Jackson thumping' in my uncle's brother's Hummer

Dip stains on my steering' wheel and all my covers

Santa Clause doesn't know but Rudolf got it comin'

Last year I asked for a '58 Biscayne

All I got was an orange and a pack of ROGAINE

You give me all that coal, you ain't give me propane

Now I got beef, I'm about to steal your sleigh

I listen to country music even when I sleep

I walk it like I talk it, I got boots in my teeth

My station wagon got a Jesus fish

Cut fender wells on 40's, bitch

Big lift kit 'cause I'm closer to God

Plus he gave me a ding-dong the size of an Eddie Bauer rod

Skeet shooting' with some buddies from my hometown

Pistol packin' that kaboom when we go downtown

'Cause the weirdos on the corner look like sewer rats

Seen a dude in plaid shorts shit his pants, that's a fuckin' fact

I wasn't even high, I ain't even drink Jack

But that fella who pooped prolly coulda used a tater sack

Eww diarrhea in his Air Force 1's

If he was wearing' Tony Lamas it wouldn't have happened to him

Alright back to the cool shit, like I was saying'

I want a mullet so long that it touches the pavement

I need a Dukes of Hazzard car so I can smash all the Daisies

But like not the cousin ones, I mean like non-blood related

Bitch I'm Lacquer Thinner Larry, sweeter than a blackberry

Bald-ass head but my nipples still hella hairy

Lookin' like a dreamcatcher on a set of man titties

I'm a country boy, I don't fuck with the city (Yeah)

Yeah, I'm a country boy, Morgan Wallen on the speakers

Ridin' through town steady wakin' up the tweekers