mental pain

I don't like living cuz this is such a cruel world

all this mental pain but i know it's the real world

I can't take all of this hurting and discrimination

There's so much hate spread through the entire nation

I can't do it, so sorry and goodbye

I swear that some day it will be alright

I can't feel my hands and no one seems to understand

Abuse me and use me all of this is so confusing

My family is mad and all you hear is yelling

I don't understand how they think that noise is helping

My momma yells cause she's stressed like i cut when i'm depressed

My dad was a good man and i saw him every weekend

But now he has a girlfriend and she's so abusive

He told me I was lying and to stop feeling suicidal

He hung up on me while i was in a mental hospital!

My mom is the bomb and she tries to make things better

But these verses i rehearse, she only makes them worse

someone call an ambulance, no someone call a hearse

Dad, let's stop this child's play, because of you i'm not okay

see this blood on my wrist, yeah it's spelled DNA

I'm living a lie and i'm not breathing i'm fine

I'm sorry in the morning then i try again at night

I'm reminded of my problems and It fills me with hate

It's like a giant checker board, and it's checkmate

this murder is a disorder and this suicide is homicide

The cutting it does something then later it does nothing

but hurt

I'm always so full of anger This emotion is a cancer

Life's always so oppressing and that's why I'm depressing

Look out for the blood and expect a flash flood

My body in the bathtub and I'm covered in blood

I'm sorry to my brothers because I'm never there

I know they probably need me and I really do care

My loss of all my innocence it's all my fault

I'm standing on the edge yearning to hit the asphalt

This stupid life of anxiety it's Such a harsh society

This whole life is killing me can't live this in sobriety

I'm looking for death, to take my last breath

Hold it to the world and put the knife to my breast

I'm crying I'm lying I'm sincerely dying

Because I'm fat and ugly

nobody loves me

never ever sleeping because I don't deserve the dreams

I love my best friend like the most precious gold

I would hate to see him crying, left alone in the cold

I also love my momma for what she's done for me

Even though it hurt i still want her to be

happy

You'd think i was proud in these jeans and blue adidas, but really i'm ashamed

what brought me to do this?

This is my life, and now my life is lived

holding on until the end when i'm ready to give

my life.