CSL's Notes
The title “Wonder Boys” is an ode to the book and movie about an artist that’s considered a prodigy that can’t finish writing his book
//Person
This has been my least productive period,
everyone just sees me reluctant here again
All the constant seriousness has drained me and maybe made me lost experience
Heard these ai artists arising that had me quickly turned off my hearing aid (ha)
But I’ve once made you all harmless and feared the pen once I had these verses layered
But it turned the pages of my life to a new chapter wondering if I’ve served my place or
Accomplished enough, my conscience erupts as I write the thoughts of a bored creator (well)
Over a decade I’ve survived, really no surprised but creative mode has been switched to survival
No infinite supplies embedded in my mind as my palm is on its last block as it written its final
Song but I’ve been in denial, left in a spiral of loose ideas where I really can’t make a title
Especially when you can only write when emotionally driven and openly present it
Got a token of respect when being broken, watch corrosion build & my devotion went missin
Slowly oxidizing from the brawns/bronze and the brains just like the statue of liberty
Some days I write with only half availability, it gets bad when nobody asked you to deliver the
Verse you promised them, got your lies all rehearsed like congressmen (damn)
It hurts to jog the memories into a story when you already had captured ‘em vividly (but)
As the coming years flies by, nothing’s near-sighted, I can’t see what is in front of me
The future’s darker than Halloween, at these times it’s harder to harvest ink
To build a broader discography as you remain in place at the top of conquering
Expected to fall off like Autumn leaves, somehow you get a spark from underneath
Like your heart’s starting to beat, which is the ONE I choose write to & sung some prophecies
I’ve had some thoughts of probably retiring entirely but it makes me nauseous honestly
It gave me a bunch of stomachaches because even though I’m no longer in my prime
But stronger in these times, what a honor it just seems to be able to go on for since my high
School days, but I can feel this fire in my pen is about ready to expire any min-ute
I hope I inspire many friends and foes, ya want to see the smoke fly higher with the wind
Blowing away in the clouds, prayed I go out and hoping that my retirement begins
Yet, I’m still here giving you hell while 90% of you still cannot decipher my shit.
//CSL
Feelings reveal to no avail, the ink on my page begins to spill
Am I lacking motivation or has the time passed me by with skill
Can’t stay on topic, maybe I lost it, or maybe there’s layers to peel
Am I getting soft and just embedding targets to cover my lonely spiels
And you know it’s real when the beats on repeat but still there’s no appeal
Trying to fill the shoes I made for myself and walk up the sloping hill
Got a whole concept and hope it kills but feel like it’s lacking the real
Reeling myself to complete a topic I hope you all can feel
Thoughts so cold it could turn arsenic rain into hardened hail
I’m hardly healed, been hailed as king but the crown lately ain’t been fitting well
I done touched on the topic of when I almost lost it
Pills flooding my system, the music had helped me ween off it
And now it seems that beef is the only thing that interests me
How easily I could kill a beat and pick off a target mercilessly
And maybe that’s why I went back and let the past come and repeat
Cause me beefing with Jeezy was tryna see if I still got what it takes to spit a scheme
It’s been 8 months and I ain’t wrote a fucking thing worth repeating
Been recycling old songs to see if I can search for a topic or meaning
Then I hit up Person, didn’t have no concept, but told him what I had in mind
Said he loved the beat and direction then spit a verse that brought the spark to life
It’s funny I was looking at enemies to give me a reason to write
And all it took was a peer to show me there’s more than just picking fights
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About the Artist
CSL
Member since August 4 2014