SLOWMOTO [Ep. 9] - The Static Snag
• Written by JeffyDaRapper
JeffyDaRapper's Notes
Somehow I keep coming up with excuses for the most devious of plot twists.
Also it's about to be 10 full episodes and we still haven't seen Mickey and Drawing Jeffy's side of the story lol. Episode 10 will fix that.
// Last episode, Wizard Guy made the Great Keeper disappear.
Luigi: ..WHAT THE.. WHA- What did you just do to them?!
Wizard: Nothing. Let's keep moving forward.
Luigi: I.. okay. You can bring them back, right?
Wizard: Maybe I can, maybe I can't.
Luigi: Right.. The disc is more important. You did what you had to do. Let's just go inside.
// Luigi and Wizard go deep inside the catacombs. Unbeknownst to them, a Lost Soul is inside and has noticed them.
Luigi: Gee, so musty..
Luigi: I didn't know it would be possible for an Afterlife to have conditions like this.
Wizard: Of course, the lost souls don't feel it. Neither do the Keepers.
Luigi: I see..
Wizard: ..you know, Purgatory is very similar to what Earth looked like back when the evolution to homo sapiens began.
Luigi: So this place is an afterimage of it?
Wizard: Precisely. Although obviously, this realm is mystical and is differently-colored. And years have passed, so a great deal was done to this place by the Keepers.
// They keep walking and walking, until they see a room/temple, where the Disc of Infinity awaits at a shrine.
Luigi: Oh, is that it?
Wizard: Yup.
Luigi: Wait a minute..
Luigi: That's the game disc of Ninjabread Man for the Wii!
Wizard: Yes, it would appear to be so.
Luigi: Mario said that it was his least favorite game of all time so many years ago!
Wizard: What about it?
Luigi: I'm just surprised to see it here.. and to see it's the Disc of Infinity. Why is that?
Wizard: I simply chose to put familiar objects from Logan's home dimension and incorporate them into my work.
Luigi: Your work?
Wizard: Perhaps that's a bit of a loose descriptor, but-
Lost Soul: Um.. excuse me?
// Wizard and Luigi, Wizard being a bit more alarmed, turn around to see the Lost Soul floating in front of them.
Luigi: Uh..
Wizard: Who are you? What business do you have with us?
Lost Soul: What are you.. guys doing with that disc?
Luigi: We need it to save the universe.
Lost Soul: Save the universe?
Luigi: Don't you know? Miyamoto has been attacking and-
Wizard: It is not of your concern. Leave.
Lost Soul: Wait a minute! Miyamoto, attacking?! I have some info you both may wanna hear!
Wizard: I already know what you are.
Lost Soul: You do? But.. how?
Luigi: Okay, I'm so lost.
Wizard: It matters not. We have our disc right here, now we can leave and get back to the others.
Lost Soul: The others? ..Is Jeffy there?
// Wizard grabs the disc.
Luigi: Uh, not quite, and-
Wizard: We will not waste any more time. Let's go.
Luigi: But wai-
// Wizard teleports himself and Luigi back to the others further back in Purgatory.
Lost Soul: (Should I be concerned? Why did they leave so suddenly? Oh, where is the keeper??)
// After they teleport..
Marvin: Thank goodness you're back! The boys over here just got the other crystal ball thing.
Junior: Hell yeah we did!
Cody: So uh Wizard man, since you're back, would you like to touch the ball thing and find out where they are or whatever?
Wizard: Certainly. I should still be able to tap into its knowledge and omnipresent memories.
// Wizard grabs the Crystal Ball from Cody, and then he starts sifting through every relevant memory possible.
..Let's see..
After we each fell down from Jeffy's destroyed dimension, Jeffy and Mario were taken away from us..
Although, it seemed that Mario being in this "Static Realm" was not my other self's doing, but Mario tapping into the ball's power once again to go where Jeffy ended up.
Cody: Wait, so could we be able to reunite with them both with this one then?
Joseph: And what the hell is this Static Realm?
Wizard: It must be a completely new dimension that he made solely to speak with Jeffy, and as a sort of containment for him. And possibly the other Gifted that he seeks.
Luigi: Gifted?
Wizard: Yes. Control of the Gifted will help him rule over every universe, every multiverse, every reality.
Junior: But what is "the Gifted?"
Wizard: To understand that, you would need to understand concepts beyond your own level.
Luigi: Why are you being vague again?
Junior: ..again?
Luigi: Yeah. We met up with a lost soul or something, and-
Wizard: Irrelevant.
Luigi: Were they one of the Gifted too?
Wizard: Again, irrelevant. Our mission is to obtain the artifacts.
Luigi: (..man, I thought it was weird when Jeffy was being so nonchalant and when it seemed like he wasn't telling important details, but Wizard man here is on another level.)
Luigi: Would you at least be willing to tell us if the artifacts are connected to the Gifted?
Wizard: Yes. But only tangentially. For us to have any hope to truly overpower Miyamoto, we need to bring all the artifacts together.
Luigi: And do we need to worry about the Gifted themselves at all, besides Jeffy?
Wizard: Yes. Now please stop asking questions, and be more patient. We're running on borrowed time.
Luigi: Okay.. and are you gonna bring that one dude back?
Wizard: What did I just- ..no. I can't bring them back. They could disrupt things for us big time.
Luigi: Okay then..
Marvin: Well, what are we waiting for?
Cody: Shall we go to this static realm?
Wizard: Most definitely. I do not believe Miyamoto is in there at this current point.
Wizard: Let me just channel the Crystal Ball's energy in order for it to teleport all of us at once…
// Wizard places his hand on the ball, red energy releasing on it, until everyone is teleported in a flash.
// Everyone is teleported to a literal static realm.
Joseph: Yo.. this is trippin' on balls.
Junior: It feels like we're in a dead TV!
Cody: 'Moto sure has a way with dimensions, I guess…
// Everyone looks around.
Luigi: Hmm.. I do not see Mario and Jeffy immediately.
Wizard: That appears to be true.
Luigi: You think you can teleport us further-
// Suddenly, the real Miyamoto himself appears, shocking everyone to their very core.
Miyamoto: Well well well.. look what we have here. The impersonator and his band of freaks.
Miyamoto: How did you get in this newly-created realm??
Wizard: These people helped steal the Crystal Ball, and I have kidnapped them.
Luigi: W-what?!
Miyamoto: Wait.. what?
Wizard: Yes, this is true.
Junior: BULLSHIT!
Joseph: No way this guy feedin' us to him!
Miyamoto: Heh heh.. I thought you were going to be against me forever, but you ARE me after all. Figured it wouldn't last long. So you have the Crystal Ball?
Wizard: Yes.
Miyamoto: Ah, and look who we have there.. Luigi and Black Yoshi, you morons! Did you really think you'd be outta my grasp forever?
Black Yoshi: Oh HELLS no, folk! I ain't goin' back! I didn't do nuffin'!
Luigi: Wizard man, please, you can't let him do this!
Wizard: Sorry, but I have to..
Miyamoto: Step up, you two. Or I'll erase your souls!
// Luigi and Black Yoshi fearfully step forward.
Miyamoto: Now you two will be coming with me.. oh, and the rest can stay in this realm until further notice.
// Wizard hands Miyamoto the alternate Crystal Ball.
Miyamoto: Shall you come with me too?
Wizard: Yes, master.
Miyamoto: Good. As for the rest of you, see you suckers!
// Miyamoto teleports Wizard Man, Luigi, and Black Yoshi to presumably the dungeon, leaving the rest stranded.
…
Joseph: MAAN THIS IS BULLL-SHIT!
Junior: Fuck that guy! We don't need him!
Joseph: Yeah, let's find those two already anyway!
Cody: Guys, don't you understand how fucked this is?! Miyamoto is gonna find out Mario is missing from the dungeon, and then a whole 'nother bunch of crap will happen!
Rose: Holy fuck, we're doomed!
Marvin: Well we have to try anyway to meet Jeffy and my other self, right?! Like the green-capped kid said?
Joseph: Heh, thanks for acknowledging me.
Junior: Miyamoto ain't gonna do shit! Let's just wander around until we find those two.
// TO BE CONTINUED…
