Skin of my Teeth [SKIT]
• Written by JeffyDaRapper
JeffyDaRapper's Notes
Another Season 0 skit episode, and this time an epic one!
Yes, Jeezy and Criminal are mentioned, but not because the Season 3 events so far are fully canon; those are still part of a coma dream. In fact, the implication of Seth being in X-Factor in the present will actually play a role after Jeffy wakes up in the real world, and unites RapPad. If you remember, I plan for StalinsSoldier to return as a character during the finale!
// J-Fee is strolling through the hood, back to the dark alley that the rap club uses. At first, it appears that he has nothing on him. Strolling right into the dark alley, no fear in his face, he bravely stands alone.
J-Fee: What doing, bitch?
// J-Fee notices that no one is there.
J-Fee: Ey, where everyone at?
J-Fee: (They better not have ducked this. I'll find them myself!)
// Suddenly, GUNSHOT. A bullet comes seemingly out of nowhere, aiming straight for J-Fee's chest. The bullet pierces through the skin, and he falls down to the floor, coughing blood.
// In a dark corner, Fratricide smiles devilishly.
Fratricide: (Fuckin' got his ass.)
// But then, he notices that something is amiss. While there is indeed a dying J-Fee on the ground, there is another J-Fee, still standing. Fratricide tries to comprehend what the fuck he's even seeing.
J-Fee: Nice try, cockgobblers!
Fratricide: (What the hell? How did he get a decoy so fast?!)
// J-Fee then pulls out a gun that he borrowed.
J-Fee: Hey guess what? I got heat too. I don't wanna use it, but I will if I must!
Fratricide: You have neat tricks, I'll give you that.
(Fratricide's voice comes from the dark corner.)
J-Fee: Show yourself, coward!
// At this point, the J-Fee that was shot withers into dust.
(Fratricide walks out of the dark corner.)
Fratricide: So, you must be the retard, huh?
J-Fee: Who the fuck are you?
Fratricide: Fratricide. One of the best in the Soldier Rap Club. You going down.
J-Fee: That's the most retarded name I ever heard.
Fratricide: You don't know retarded. The bullet in your brain will leave ya lobotomized.
// Fratricide then shoots two more bullets at J-Fee, but he barely dodges them at the skin of his teeth.
Fratricide: (Huh?.. He's quick, I'll give him that.)
J-Fee: You asked for it!
// J-Fee shoots at Fratricide, but it seems he has missed, and Fratricide is nowhere to be seen once again.
J-Fee: Pussy! Where did you fucking go?!
// Suddenly, Seth comes from behind, having J-Fee at a chokehold, but J-Fee elbows him, leaving him tumbling.
// Then Fratricide comes back, and J-Fee engages in a fist fight. J-Fee holds his own quite well, but Fratricide is a bit tougher, and then the final punch sends him knocked to the ground.
Fratricide: You may be tougher than you look, but you're ours now.
Fratricide: Seth, kill him.
// Seth pulls a gun and aims it at J-Fee, but he just stands there, hesitating.
Fratricide: What you waiting for? Shoot him in the limbs or some shit!
// Seth puts the gun down.
Seth: Dude, I'm not gonna shoot him. He's just a kid.
Fratricide: So you committing treason?
Seth: No, I'm not. I don't want to kill him.
Fratricide: You do realize he started it first, so he must pay the price, right?
Seth: Frat, I'm not gonna kill a fucking kid! Let's just leave him!
Fratricide: I'm not telling you again. Do it.
// Then, another J-Fee come all up at Fratricide from behind and socks him clean in the face, knocking him down. The other J-Fee steps on him to keep him down, and then the real J-Fee gets back up.
Fratricide: FUCK! How are you doing this??
Real J-Fee: Peace, bitch!
// The real J-Fee runs out of the alley.
Fratricide: He's getting away!
// Fratricide then finds the dexterity to get J-Fee's feet off his back, then he quickly gets up and shoots the J-Fee clone in the head, killing him. The clone withers to dust, like the other one.
Fratricide: Fucker ducked at the last second.
Seth: Y'know, I really think this is all pointless.
Fratricide: Seth, how about I shoot you too? How about that?
Seth: Don't. In fact, I quit this fucking rap club.
// Fratricide ponders on his next move.
Fratricide: Fuck it. Good riddance. I'll tell Mr. Soldier what happened. Just fuck off.
Seth: Okay good. Jeezy and Criminal are better company for me anyway.
Fratricide: No the fuck those old geezers ain't.
Seth: Yeah whateva you say. Peace.
// Seth leaves the alley, with Fratricide following suit at the opposite direction.
// Meanwhile back at the SML house, Mario is watching TV in the game room until Black Yoshi enters.
Black Yoshi: Folk, where the fuck is it at?!
Mario: What? Black Yoshi, what's wrong now?
Black Yoshi: Someone done took my glock!
Mario: Your glock?
Black Yoshi: Yeah! How I'm gonna shoot niggas if I don't gots it?
Mario: I don't know where your glock is. Sorry.
Black Yoshi: Maybe that Woody redneck dude took it for shrimposus. I'll ask 'im.
// Black Yoshi leaves the scene.
Mario: Uh- alrighty then.
// After a few moments, Jeffy with his rapper clothes comes into the scene.
Jeffy: Hey daddy.
Mario: Oh, Jeffy, there you are! Where have you been?
Jeffy: They called off the war.
Mario: ..what war?
Jeffy: The Soldier war. They called it off because I released a diss just now. They scared as fuck!
Mario: Well uh, alright then. But where did you actually go? You haven't been in the house.
Jeffy: Woody was giving me shrimpo hunting lessons.
Mario: Wait, really??
Jeffy: He was a bit drunk though, so he may not remember it.
Mario: Well uh, alright.
// Next episode coming soon!
