FeEl FoR yOu bY oNyX

And all that I feel for you

 

I didn't really care until you were gone

 

Where did all the time go?

 

I miss all the old times

 

So I try to go back to the past

 

I know damn well that I fucked up bad

 

 

 

And I know I was abusive as hell

 

Never even wished you well, no

 

And I know you always tended to dwell

 

You were under my spell

 

I was too focused on my instincts

 

I know that my heart is extinct

 

I miss you but you ain't miss me

 

Understandably, understandably

 

 

 

I was a bitch, I admit it

 

Always hittin' you when I was mad, I regret it

 

And I know that some days I still can't accept this

 

But it was for the better

 

I miss when we were together

 

But you don't

 

And I'm not mad about it, no-no

 

 

 

And I know you'll piss on my grave

 

If I die, I want to make sure you're okay

 

I miss you so bad every single day

 

But I wasn't the victim here, you was

 

And I know we can't get back what we had

 

You blocked my ass, and I see that

 

And I know niggas peep that

 

Where are all my peeps at?

 

 

 

They all left me 'cause I abused you

 

Niggas talk 'bout how I used you

 

I admit that, I made jokes that'd never amuse you

 

'Cause you were the butt of them, I didn't wanna lose you

 

But here I am, I've lost you

 

Was abusive still and said, "That'll cost you"

 

But you blocked me, and I blocked you

 

I'm so sorry, my love, I really want you

 

 

 

And I know I had problems

 

And I never really could solve 'em

 

And I always had to involve 'em

 

Your favorite season was autumn

 

And I ruined it for you

 

Yeah, I lost my mind

 

And I lost my life

 

And I lost the track of time

 

Every single night

 

 

 

And I tried to make up to you

 

But you already found someone else (found someone else, found someone else)

 

I knew I only used you, it was obvious

 

I try my hardest to stay positive

 

You cut me off, then I lost my shit

 

Hit you even more, then I talked my shit, yeah

 

I used to talk shit 'bout you to my friends, yeah

 

I tried to tell you I was pretend

 

But you were too in love

 

Too in love, oh, too in love...

 

 

 

My ADHD and Autism made me take my anger out on you

 

But that's no excuse 'cause I caused abuse

 

You went to school with a new fuckin' bruise

 

You told your friends it was nothin' new

 

We was both so toxic, and yeah, that's true

 

And I fucking hate myself for it, everyone found out the truth

 

Everyone cut me off, I was still in my youth

 

I was so delulu, I was so delulu, yeah

 

 

 

Your words, they would soothe

 

I fucking knocked out yo' tooth

 

Then I tried to play it cool

 

You knew I was never smooth

 

You liked the way I moved

 

I gave you scars, I knew

 

And I didn't say shit, I kept lyin'

 

I was only 14, when you left, I started cryin'

 

My mama told me it was for the better

 

But was it really?

 

I get so high, yeah, I get so tipsy

 

I wanna die, yeah, you prolly won't miss me

 

If I cried, yuh you would diss me

 

In my mind, they was out to get me

 

 

 

I never had no true love

 

And I know I abused you, love

 

Lied said I didn't do much

 

That was a lie, you knew, huh?

 

Yeah, and I called you, "Cunt"

 

I was a youngin, but that don't excuse it

 

And I'm sorry for bein' so abusive

 

 

 

And you always tried to find solutions

 

But I never listened to your conclusions

 

So you left me and my life in ruins

 

But it's okay, baby, you had to do it

 

You had to do this, you was goin' through shit

 

You was goin' through it, your mind was ruined

 

 

 

I caused it all

 

Then I lost it all..

 

 

 

And all that I feel for you

 

I didn't really care until you were gone

 

Where did all the time go?

 

I miss all the old times

 

So I try to go back to the past

 

I know damn well that I fucked up bad

 

 

 

I smoke the gas just to go back to the past

 

To see your face finally at last, yeah

 

Now you're datin' Atlas, yeah

 

Told me I can kiss your ass, yeah

 

Now I'm so down bad

 

And the whole town's mad

 

Got shunned for years

 

And I wanted to disappear

 

'Cause my friends not even here

 

And I can barely even hear

 

And your pain was so severe

 

Ruined my whole damn career

 

Now I have to face my fears

 

And I do it every year

 

Hopin' one day you appear

 

But I know you're never near

 

And the smoke has never cleared

 

And now I'm in the atmosphere

 

I wanna die, I'm insecure

 

And you knew that, I hurt my peers

 

I did not want nobody to interfere

 

'Cause I thought you were my property, and if someone said you weren't

 

It would grind my gears

 

And I'm so damn sorry, I hold you dear

 

I'ma get hit like a deer

 

I'mma cry all these tears

 

Just to let you know

 

That somewhere I'm still here, yeah

 

And I hurt your heart with a spear

 

I was immature, but everyone would cheer

 

So I kept hurtin' you, delusions of grandeur

 

And I'm missin' you, Devil will steer, uh

 

 

 

Now your friends glare at me

 

You were always there for me

 

And you always cared for me

 

But I threw it all away

 

And I can't wash away

 

All the fuckin' pain

 

Guess I lost my way

 

Can you stop the pain..?

 

 

 

And all that I feel for you

 

I didn't really care until you were gone

 

Where did all the time go?

 

I miss all the old times

 

So I try to go back to the past

 

I know damn well that I fucked up bad

 

 

 

I write these fuckin' songs

 

Tryna right these wrongs

 

Now I hit the bong

 

Red dress, Ada Wong, yeah

 

Never took you to Saint Laurent

 

Like you wanted me to

 

Now that you are gone

 

I fucked up, it's true

 

All the friends I lost

 

Because of me, not you

 

I would never blame you anymore

 

Hope you knew, yeah, yeah

 

 

 

And I'm so alone

 

Won't pick up my phone

 

Might as well be disowned

 

And abuse is some shit I don't condone

 

But I did it anyway

 

Did it everyday

 

Lost you in every way

 

Remember you like yesterday

 

Was there a better way?

 

Pray for better days

 

But you'll be on your merry way

 

But on this very day

 

We dated, all these weary days

 

I hate it, I was always very late

 

I knew I was very fake, I was friends with every snake

 

I was friends with every fake, yeah-yeah

 

 

 

I hope you're very safe, yeah

 

I know I'm very lame

 

You seem to be at every place

 

But you're not really here, my mistake, yeah-yeah

 

You give me that wary gaze

 

Hair like Mary Jane

 

You didn't like my scary face

 

Scared you in every clever way

 

I hurt you in whichever way

 

I told you, "You better stay"

 

I told you, "You better wait" yeah

 

 

 

And all that I feel for you

 

I didn't really care until you were gone

 

Where did all the time go?

 

I miss all the old times

 

So I try to go back to the past

 

I know damn well that I fucked up bad

 

 

 

And I know, I always pressured you

 

So just know I'll always remember you...