so toxic by Brexton

'Cause I'm, I'm wondering

 

If you just wanna see me suffering

 

Nowadays I wonder if

 

All the lies I've been discovering

 

All the times I've been restructuring

 

All the times I've been recovering

 

Fuck these bitch ass hoes, I can't trust 'em

 

You was always making assumptions

 

Had to turn this nothing into something

 

She done hit me up, like what's up bitch?

 

I been getting money for my niggas

 

Came outta them trenches we was grave diggas

 

I was using wrenches just to fix ya

 

I ain't do no friendship it'll kill ya

 

You really think I'm joking? You think I was kidding

 

Stab myself in the eye, my throat I'll be slitting

 

She told me this twenty times she don't really give shits

 

I just wanna fucking cry 'cause I can never fix shit

 

See it in my fucking eyes, you don't wanna fix it

 

We done this too many times, we just beyond fixing

 

You broke my heart twice, I cannot forget it

 

She told me it'll all be fine, but I know it isn't

 

Sometimes I wonder if I'm alright, sometimes I wonder if I didn't

 

Ever give you my damn time, we wouldn't have been here

 

Yeah, I hate that I'm living, ending my whole existence

 

Your love's non-existent, all the vibes you're giving

 

Got me feeling hidden, I ain't ever listen

 

That's why my ass ends up missing

 

And I'm fucked up but that shit's fitting

 

All these hoes be cherry-picking

 

I wake up and my head starts spinning

 

How to fix it? Can we fix this?

 

All the bars I'm fucking spitting, you wouldn't care if my head starts splittin'

 

I'm just bleeding on the ground on the grave I was digging

 

Maybe one day I'll be suicide-committing

 

Fucking up my mind and swear to God this shit is sticking

 

Feeling like maybe I should never do yo' bidding

 

She broke my heart so many times I feel my consciousness slipping

 

We cannot be friends cuz our connection just ain't clickin'

 

I gave you my love and I saw you and him kissing

 

Why cheat on me when you knew I was bed-ridden?

 

You've broken me yet you don't wanna admit it

 

You've shaken me to my core and you're grinning

 

Blood dripping off your knife, I start kicking

 

Tryna get the fuck away, yeah, but your grip is

 

(So tight) So tight, I can't forgive him

 

This is why I never do forgiveness, the pain I be emitting

 

I just feel like quitting, when you're 'round, heart starts skipping

 

All this lean I just been sipping, I'm trippin'

 

High off the Xanny, time be ticking

 

She don't understand me, Glocky I'm equipping

 

Everyone wan' damn me, just 'cause I'm sinning

 

You tryna demand shit, but my life is dimming

 

And I wake up, you was tricking, good riddance

 

I was so fucked up my teeth I was gritting

 

My wrists I've always been slitting, yeah

 

I can't trust no bitch, they all witches

 

I was never one for fucking with no bitches

 

She broke me so bad now she dissing

 

And I shoulda known that she did it

 

She don't regret it all, even if I'm sickened

 

With the life I was given, I should've listened

 

Crimes I've committed, songs I've written

 

Took a trip to Britain, why am I still living?

 

My friends be distant, fuck your opinions

 

Fuck my decisions, go ahead, call me a chicken

 

Drugs I been mixing like a damn potion, contradictions, one way ticket

 

(To Hell) To Hell, my dreams be vivid

 

And you're so wicked, and you're so twisted

 

I'm down you get lifted, your words aren't lifting

 

You tell me to kill myself when I'm grief-stricken

 

And I wanna heal myself but I'm so conflicted

 

I guess I'll just kill myself 'cause I'm too addicted

 

Your love's like an addiction, my heartbeat just quickened

 

I feel like I'm tripping, this coke I been sniffing

 

Snorting this cocaine, I been goin' livid

 

Mama told me to stay rigid and frigid

 

But right now I can't 'cause I'm sickened

 

I don't know why I'm still existing

 

But I failed all my missions can't even do division

 

I'm so fucking high and drunk I pay my mama no visits

 

I'm so fucked up I've reached my limit

 

And I've been gone for a few minutes

 

She want me dead, bitch, I'm the exhibit

 

Inside my head I feel so imprisoned

 

(Inside my head my thoughts be explicit)

 

Inside my bed my bed's like a prison

 

How can I fix this when everyone's my critic?

 

Take a trip to the clinic, mama said I was gifted

 

I can never really give in, can I ever be forgiven?

 

Used to be fucking timid 'til I started to mimic

 

The bad people 'round me, we just politicking

 

I can't do this shit no more, I feel like my life's just scripted

 

I'm tired of your gimmicks, even if you're quick-witted

 

Can you please just quit it? I really wanna quit this shit

 

My addiction is addicting, you're my ecstasy, my lifeline, forget it

 

I can never really figure out who did this

 

I was down bad on my dick, rags to riches

 

You shoulda known I was a bitch, don't get religious

 

And you ain't ever ever respect my wishes

 

I was whipping shit in the kitchen

 

While you was watching the Simpsons

 

I had these visions 'bout my religion

 

And I know and I know I've burnt all bridges

 

And I had ambition, that's why I was so ambitious

 

Now I'll be swimming with the fishes

 

Your words are so vicious

 

Is this love fact or fiction?

 

'Cause you got me so suspicious

 

But the drugs are so delicious

 

Started doing them way before double-digits

 

How to fix myself when you won't give me no hugs or kisses?

 

You're malicious but goddamn I miss this

 

Why do I miss it? Do you miss him? Do you miss this?

 

I don't miss shit, but I miss it

 

Rip the door off its hinges, I'm superstitious

 

Your love gave me stitches, hmm

 

There are no fixes, bury my pain in ditches

 

I made a few pitches you didn't give 2 shits, bitch

 

You know I grew into my britches

 

And all of your friends are just snitches

 

And you got my eye twitchin'

 

Tell me why you're just fishing for info, I show no recognition

 

If you was in my position, I feel my mood shifting

 

My mood be switching with every vision

 

I been waiting and wishing for my head to stop spinning

 

And my gut just be twisting, I wanna rebuild the bridging

 

And I know I need stitching, maybe I'm just trippin'

 

I heard my body just ripping

 

Your knife deep in my flesh, breath be hitching