A yapper
• Written by YOWAZZUP76565476536542
Look, I was gonna stay quiet but now I’m not
Y’all better listen up, I talk a lot — Yap God!
Yap-yap-yappin’ again, never tappin’ out, I'm flappin’ my chin,
Speedin’ like I’m tweakin’ on ten cups of caffeine and a gallon of gin,
Talkin’ 'bout aliens, lizard men, government secrets, Area 10,
Wait — it’s 51? Whatever son, I’m already on conspiracy trend.
Mouth runnin’ like a V12,
Gossip got me on resale,
Talk so much I narrate life,
I describe dreams in detail.
Breathe? Nah, I don’t need breaks,
Verbal tsunami, I cause earthquakes,
Say ten thoughts before you blink,
Wrote ten tweets before you think.
I'm the Yap God, chatter-blaster,
Talkin’ faster than a pastor
Preachin’ Sunday after rapture,
Chattin’ chapters — no disaster
Shuts me down, I yap right after!
They say: “He never stops!”
I say: “Why would I?”
Talkin’ all day, I’m the Yap God
Speed of sound when I yap, y’all
Syllables snap like a trap jaw.
I talk in lines like it's Morse code,
Argue with Siri in war mode.
Told my whole life story in a group chat
Then rewrote it on a Discord thread — full cap.
I debate facts with a flat earther,
While ordering five cheeseburgers,
While explaining how I learned to surf
And how my cousin's dog can curse (it’s true, bro).
Yappin’ on Zoom and in real life,
Talk through dreams and half past night,
Monologue in my sleep — you thought I’d pause?
Even my yawns got subplots, dog!
I'm the pinnacle of babble,
A gladiator of gab,
Talkin’ ‘til the credits roll,
And then I yap through the recap.
Even Alexa needs a break,
She said, “Dude, give your mouth a shake!”
But I just kept on goin’ —
Even my thoughts got footnotes showin’!
They say: “He never stops!”
I say: “Why would I?”
I’ve been yappin’ since the sandbox
Now I drop rants like they’re hand grenades
I’m the Yap God — better press replay.
Mic check? Nah — just hand me ten more.
Gimme a soapbox, I’ll give you folklore.
Yap God — outtalkin’ the clock,
I talk so much, I make podcasts stop.
