Last shot tonight
• Written by user730486132
[Verse 1]
There’s a chicken in my sink
And my eyebrows are hot pink
Woke up in a kiddie pool
Wearing boots and swimwear — cool
Tried to pay the Uber fare
With a rock and half a pear
Told my mirror “you’re the one”
Then I challenged it to run
[Pre-Chorus]
Yeah, I swore “just one, no more”
Then I danced into a door
Made a toast to “future me”
With a Jello shot and brie
[Chorus]
Last shot tonight, I just texted my ex twice
Last shot tonight, took a selfie with some mice
Last shot tonight, made a toast to no regrets
And adopted seven pets
Last shot tonight, played beer pong with a raccoon
Last shot tonight, got kicked out before it’s noon
Last shot tonight, someone drew on me in Sharpie
I said, “thanks, it’s modern art, B!”
Oh-oh-oh
That was last shot tonight…
[Verse 2]
Tried to crowd surf on a chair
Did a keg stand in the air
Told a cactus, “you’re my bro”
Now we’re texting, kinda slow
Lost my belt, found a kazoo
Sang the anthem at a zoo
Named my left sock “Captain Brad”
Honestly, I’m not that mad
[Pre-Chorus]
Yeah, I swore I’d take it slow
But the vodka said, “let’s go!”
Now my wallet’s full of gum
And I think I joined a drum
[Chorus]
Last shot tonight, kissed a mannequin at Sears
Last shot tonight, spilled sangria in my ears
Last shot tonight, now I’m banned from Applebee’s
(But it’s fine, I hate their peas)
Last shot tonight, lit a candle with my breath
Last shot tonight, challenged gravity to death
Last shot tonight, said “I’m done”—but that’s a lie
Guess I’ll party ’til I cry…
Oh-oh-oh
That’s just last shot tonight…
[Bridge]
Next time I’ll just stay at home
With my blanket and my phone
But the second Friday hits
Suddenly, I’m doin’ splits… (on a lawn gnome)
[Final Chorus]
Last shot tonight, made a speech with no pants on
Last shot tonight, did the worm across a swan
Last shot tonight, told a tree I’d change my life
Now it’s listed as my wife
Last shot tonight, every week I swear, “I’m through!”
Last shot tonight, but tequila texts me “boo”
Last shot tonight, yeah my brain says “no, not right”
But my liver lost the fight…
Oh-oh-oh
Here comes last shot tonight!
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About the Artist
user730486132
Member since May 5 2025