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Last shot tonight

  1. [Verse 1]
  2.  
  3. There’s a chicken in my sink
  4.  
  5. And my eyebrows are hot pink
  6.  
  7. Woke up in a kiddie pool
  8.  
  9. Wearing boots and swimwear —cool
  10.  
  11.  
  12.  
  13. Tried to pay the Uber fare
  14.  
  15. With a rock and half a pear
  16.  
  17. Told my mirror “you’re the one”
  18.  
  19. Then I challenged it to run
  20.  
  21.  
  22.  
  23. [Pre Chorus]
  24.  
  25. Yeah, I swore “just one, no more”
  26.  
  27. Then I danced into a door
  28.  
  29. Made a toast to “future me”
  30.  
  31. With a Jello shot and brie
  32.  
  33.  
  34.  
  35. [Chorus]
  36.  
  37. Last shot tonight, I just texted my ex twice
  38.  
  39. Last shot tonight, took a selfie with some mice
  40.  
  41. Last shot tonight, made a toast to no regrets
  42.  
  43. And adopted seven pets
  44.  
  45.  
  46.  
  47. Last shot tonight, played beer pong with a raccoon
  48.  
  49. Last shot tonight, got kicked out before it’s noon
  50.  
  51. Last shot tonight, someone drew on me in Sharpie
  52.  
  53. I said, “thanks, it’s modern art, B!”
  54.  
  55. Oh oh oh
  56.  
  57. That was last shot tonight…
  58.  
  59.  
  60.  
  61. [Verse 2]
  62.  
  63. Tried to crowd surf on a chair
  64.  
  65. Did a keg stand in the air
  66.  
  67. Told a cactus, “you’re my bro”
  68.  
  69. Now we’re texting, kinda slow
  70.  
  71.  
  72.  
  73. Lost my belt, found a kazoo
  74.  
  75. Sang the anthem at a zoo
  76.  
  77. Named my left sock “Captain Brad”
  78.  
  79. Honestly, I’m not that mad
  80.  
  81.  
  82.  
  83. [Pre Chorus]
  84.  
  85. Yeah, I swore I’d take it slow
  86.  
  87. But the vodka said, “let’s go!”
  88.  
  89. Now my wallet’s full of gum
  90.  
  91. And I think I joined a drum
  92.  
  93.  
  94.  
  95. [Chorus]
  96.  
  97. Last shot tonight, kissed a mannequin at Sears
  98.  
  99. Last shot tonight, spilled sangria in my ears
  100.  
  101. Last shot tonight, now I’m banned from Applebee’s
  102.  
  103. (But it’s fine, I hate their peas)
  104.  
  105.  
  106.  
  107. Last shot tonight, lit a candle with my breath
  108.  
  109. Last shot tonight, challenged gravity to death
  110.  
  111. Last shot tonight, said “I’m done”—but that’s a lie
  112.  
  113. Guess I’ll party ’til I cry…
  114.  
  115. Oh oh oh
  116.  
  117. That’s just last shot tonight…
  118.  
  119.  
  120.  
  121. [Bridge]
  122.  
  123. Next time I’ll just stay at home
  124.  
  125. With my blanket and my phone
  126.  
  127. But the second Friday hits
  128.  
  129. Suddenly, I’m doin’ splits… (on a lawn gnome)
  130.  
  131.  
  132.  
  133. [Final Chorus]
  134.  
  135. Last shot tonight, made a speech with no pants on
  136.  
  137. Last shot tonight, did the worm across a swan
  138.  
  139. Last shot tonight, told a tree I’d change my life
  140.  
  141. Now it’s listed as my wife
  142.  
  143.  
  144.  
  145. Last shot tonight, every week I swear, “I’m through!”
  146.  
  147. Last shot tonight, but tequila texts me “boo”
  148.  
  149. Last shot tonight, yeah my brain says “no, not right”
  150.  
  151. But my liver lost the fight…
  152.  
  153. Oh oh oh
  154.  
  155. Here comes last shot tonight!

Lyrics added by user730486132

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