House Of Shattered Glass

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(GenXjeezy)

This is the story of my childhood being raised by a narcissistic abuser

Abuse that made me believe I was a loser and fucked up my future

My father hated me because he was jealous my mom gave me attention

He didn't see either one of us as people because we were a possession

He had to control every little detail of our lives and he ruled with oppression

If things didn't go exactly as he wanted then he displayed his aggression

I would get punched in the face, choked out and thrown down the stairs

My head put through the wall and hit with textbooks, I still have nightmares

He'd beat my mom bloody in front of me then tell me that it was all my fault

My self esteem crumbled and I felt more than hopeless with every assault

The verbal abuse was just as bad, I was told I was the mailman's kid

He disapproved of, criticized and scrutinized every single thing that I did

I was embarrassed and disappointed because I was never good enough

Living with him was rough but it was all that shit that made me so tough

I have so many mental illnesses from growing up in a house of shattered glass

I had a narcissistic, addict, alcoholic teacher and being abused was the class

 

(unknownfemalerapper)

Ive been through hella abuse even many kinds lemme introduce

Mental and physical ive been through both it holds me like a fuckin noose

Livin with my mom my stepdad is my main abuser

He keeps punchin me down while im tryin to maneuver

All shit happens behind closed doors

I wish that these words were just fuckin metaphors

The voices in my head are helping him deceive

Askin me why, “Why don’t you fight back? Why don’t you just leave?”

Askin me why i dont leave but its not that easy

When im enduring the abuse no one knows and no one sees

The trauma haunts me like a ghost in the dark

Listenin to the constant mental abuse always tellin me im worth less than an old fart

Growing up in this house it feels more like a cage

Stepdad in the corner always filled with rage

He’d come home from work with that look in his eyes

Like a storm brewing close it brought tears to the skies

The smallest things would trigger him even a word or a glance

He goes to hit and you cant hear my silent scream to god for another chance

 

(GenXjeezy)

All the abuse has given me mental illness like depression and PTSD

Bipolar, ADHD, and Schizoaffective disorder are all part of my reality

Oh and I have Anti Social Personality Disorder too which is also taboo

Plus Polysubstance Use Disorder so I'm also an addict which is a big issue

I have a fucked up worldview and a volatile temper you couldn't ever subdue

Combine all my mental illness with that temper and you'll see carnage ensue

After all I've been trough I am not about to start putting up with anyone's shit

The fact that I can be cruel and heartless is something I'm willing to admit

When it comes to my opps I have no empathy, sympathy or compassion

For me power has a strong attraction and assault is just a typical reaction

I have been to institutions, jail and state prison for committing violent acts

Anytime something goes wrong I'll definitely be the one who overreacts

I almost forgot, I also have a condition known as Intermittent Explosive Disorder

So when I snap I black out and lose all self control and I'm capable of torture

My level of crazy and demented is something you can't surpass, I'll kick your ass

I'll show up on your doorstep and then it'll be your house that's full of shatttered glass

 

(unknownfemalerapper)

Silent screams in the dark I learned how to appease

Steppin on eggshells always beggin “Please”

Each shout, every blow left a mark that never healed

Memories replaying this trauma concealed

The constant abuse has left me with many permanent scars and bruised

Im like a punchin bag thats been overused

The abuse has given me depression, PTSD, and anxiety

It been causin more demons inside of me

Countless nights lay awake, trapped inside my head

Thoughts racing wild like a book never read

Tears fall like rain each drop tells a story

Life’s heavy burdens stripped away my glory

Tried to open up was met with cold stares

Disbelief and dismissal like nobody cares

Through this hell like my mouth is taped shut nothing i can say

The affects of this abuse will never go away