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never. by Austin Lance p1

never been the type to fall in love
i thought true love would somehow come
but i was young and i was dumb
and my heart she took as i tried to run
and my heart has broken
that's why i can't trust
and i've never truly felt anything other than pain
that's why i clutch my head, i'm pained
and sometimes i wanna blow out my brains and be cobain
and i'm so mad that you didn't stay
but you're the source of my pain, so maybe it was for the better
but i don't wanna fade away, whatever
and i do this every day, whatever
and i'm not okay, okay, whatever, uh
and i feel like you took a part of me
and i feel like you took my heart from me
and i feel like you keep scarrin' me
like, do you get off of on it? but pardon me
dishearten me, you as cold as cold hearted be
and i'm so fucked up, you done startled me
and i spark a fuckin' cigarette, pain in my arteries
so why am i still here? i think i was too young
and you told me that i was too dumb, too dumb
that's why you took advantage of me
i was 17, you were 27, you damaged me, uh
you damaged me, i hate how this planet be
i stand for hours in my room pacing, pacing
and my mama worried as fuck, i hate this, lord, i hate it
and i thought we were really meant to be
but you were an adult and i was a minor, you see
and i just want you to feel how i feel
and how the fact i cannot fuckin' heal
and you let me die out, you let me bleed out
secrets you keep now, keep now, keep out
and i don't wanna tweak out, so i'll get geeked now
got me geeked out, you introduced me to them drugs
and a world of pain, so pour the champagne
and we can drink the fuckin' sorrows away, i'm so hollow
put hollows thru my fucking brains, my brains
and i know you want me dead in every way
and i guess we're not the same
and i guess you'll never change
but somethin' in my heart is tellin' me to wait
'cause maybe one day you'll have changed
but i think it's just make believe
you only care 'bout the money i made or the money i make
'cause you want me to buy you luxuries and every damn thang
that you see that you like, i thought you was my bae, my babe
that's why i let you grab my heart, but then my heart, i saw it break
and i had to glue the pieces back together
and i realized that day i shouldn't have stayed
'cause you're so fucking fake, fake fake
oh, yeah you're a fuckin' snake, snake, snake
and my love i gave, my love i gave, i guess i'm your slave
for eternity, hurt me internally, i'm shy externally
but eternally you'll have a piece of me
and now you're leaving me and i said to you
"do you believe in me, or am i dead to you?
like what do you see me in? what are we meant to do?
would you smoke weed with me" but i know you never do
and you let me bleed, and i never knew
when you said, "you're dead to me" i felt my heart break
and now my heart aches, it aches, it aches
and you let me waste away, i'm such a waste
a waste of space, feel on your waist
you took advantage of me you done damaged me
the damage you did will never be repaired
i sit here in despair but you don't care
i wasn't fully there, i wasn't self aware
and bitch i feel like monika now i'm aware
and i'm still wantin' ya, but you're not there
and baby, i want you bad, understand that
and i took chances, but you have a new man, yeah
and that broke me, that shit broke me, that shit broke me
and you act like you don't know me, but girl, you owe me, yea, you owe me
and i'm so broken, so many emotions, yeah
and you didn't notice, no, you didn't notice, yeah
my mama said, "i told you this, you you should know this"
but i didn't heed her damn fuckin' warning
you looked me in my eyes &said i wasn't important
so nowadays my love be lyin' dormant
and i'm not okay, no, my views distorted
my vision is distorting, gotta go re record it
and you liked my tweets got so happy i'd record it, uh
and then you blocked me on twitter too
and you have me fucked up and so bitter, too
and i know i was a minor and you weren't
but i still can't let go, this a new verse
so what was the point? i put you first
i put you over me, bitch, you can do worse
and you got me fucked up, i bought you that new purse
and bitch, was your love true? i think not
and you know nowadays i just drink lots
and i gave you my heart and everything's gone
i was the one who put you on on
and i got the slip knot, tie it up in a big knot
bitches know i slip lots, i trip lots, and things got
so fucked up, and i wish not
and i got bad thoughts 'bout what i did and did not
do, do, do, do, ooh
and bitch, it's not what i wanted, i didn't want this at all and you knew that
and i grabbed the glocky shot it and blew back
and i fucked threw up all my fuckin' food
i can't keep it down she said, "i'm done with you"
"i'm done with you" i feel the same way
why the fuck was i ever loving you? i don't know yet
and baby, i want you back, i haven't let go yet
and i know that you're with someone new and you paint me bad
and i was painting pictures 'bout how you hate me bad
and my heart be cold it's winter i'm hating that
and i don't know why the fuck you're saying that
and you replay it back, yea, you replay it fast
you fuckin' hate me bad, and lord, i hate you back
kill yourself, kill kill yourself, and i'll kill myself too
at least we agree on that
and we agree to disagree
and nowadays i smoke the weed
i miss my friends and family
but they do not want me
so i'm fucked up with some of my g's
and i pull up and smoke on trees
and i miss you, want you to notice me
but you haven't noticed me
and i'm just smokin' weed
them bitches they wanna come drill me
and if you hate me come kill me
and bitch it's cold, yeah, it's chilly
i feel like a king so call me Von, yeah
i just took your ass to saint laurent, yeah
bitches want me dead they want me gone, yeah
and i was the one who put you hoes on, yeah
yet you don't wanna admit that
and i feel like a pimp, call me slickback
but i miss you real bad, and you know that
so you take advantage and i know that
but i don't want my feelings to go bad
and i don't ever fuckin' lose
and these bitches they tried to steal my coupe
had my glock so i started to shoot oot
i'ma just go and shoot at you
and your mans thinkin you're brand new
do they know what you've done to me?
don't you fuckin' run from me
i'll get my damn revenge
and i'll be so avenged
and my fists i fuckin' clench
bitch, i got the glock and wrench
we was stuck in the trench, trench
bitch, it's me against, against
you and your fuckin' friends
you said, "it was not my intent"
get so high i might ascend
and this is my dark descent
and you're only here on the weekends
and i want it to please end
but maybe in my defense
i was young like maybe ten
and you looked at me so intense
and you took advantage, my mom couldn't prevent
what happened next
and i guess that this is the end
there's no point in tryin' to defend
and i guess nowadays it depends
and fuck that, fuck your events
and i fucked up, i fucked up again
and i cannot fuckin' comprehend
that your love was all pretend
and now my ass is fuckin' benched

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