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Jeffy Attempts to Join X-Factor - PART 2

  1. “Life has been good.
  2.  
  3. Ever since I joined X Factor, I’ve been raising enough funds to last me months, and I didn’t even have to raise a finger! Or any limb at all.
  4.  
  5. Hell, y’all don’t have any idea how easy it has been for me. It would put the lifestyles of billionaires like Elon Musk to shame. I like to think so, anyway.
  6.  
  7. After all.. being humble is always the next best step.”
  8.  
  9. //The scene immediately cuts to J Fee, fat, sitting on his ass in the lounge room of X Factor headquarters, eating cheerios. He is watching the new Godzilla movie, with the hit new villain, Thicc Bowser.
  10.  
  11. Thicc Bowser: You think u tuff, Godzilla? You’ll NEVA be as thicc as me!
  12. Godzilla: (roars)
  13.  
  14. (Thicc Bowser slaps his ass, which makes fireballs fart out of his anus, destroying an entire museum.)
  15.  
  16. Thicc Bowser: Bet you can’t do that shit!
  17.  
  18. (Meanwhile, Mario is watching from afar, with clear intent.)
  19.  
  20. Mario: Damn. That nigga can fart.
  21.  
  22. //J Fee is enjoying peak entertainment when Pimpster Goomba comes into the room. J Fee doesn’t even notice him while he continues eating his cheerios.
  23.  
  24. Pimpster Goomba: Jeffy.. It’s me, PG.
  25. J Fee: Yeah, how u doin’..
  26.  
  27. (J Fee shoves even more cheerios in his mouth.)
  28.  
  29. Pimpster Goomba: Uh.. fine, but J Fee, I keep hearing complaints from the other members here about you not actually doing anything.
  30. J Fee: Because I am. I’m awesome just by existing.
  31. Pimpster Goomba: Yeah, but you haven’t even been supporting anyone’s new releases. Not even WMX’s new track.
  32. J Fee: Nah, I did it.
  33. Pimpster Goomba: You did? How?
  34. J Fee: I did it in my head, so I did it. Now leave me be, this is the good part!
  35. Pimpster Goomba: Is.. that Godzilla: Age of the Thicc?
  36. J Fee: Yup. It’s really gassy.
  37.  
  38. Pimpster Goomba: Well, here’s the thing. You may not be able to sit here, in this comfortable lounge room, any longer.
  39. J Fee: Why? (shoves more cheerios in his mouth)
  40. Pimpster Goomba: They’re planning to kick you out.
  41.  
  42. (J Fee spits out his cheerios.)
  43. J Fee: WHAT?
  44. Pimpster Goomba: Yeah, if you don’t release something right now, they’ll kick you out. And they gonna take all the funds you’ve been hoarding away, that you haven’t used.
  45. J Fee: Oh hell no! Let’s go back to the studio; I gotta drop the spiciest load of all time!
  46. (J Fee runs out of the room.)
  47. Pimpster Goomba: Hopefully not a literal load..
  48. (PG walks out after him.)
  49.  
  50. //Later..
  51.  
  52. do you want to know how i bomb children? (x4)
  53.  
  54. do you want to know how i bomb children? (x4)
  55. (hamas is several small ants beneath my feet [x4])
  56.  
  57. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I BOMB CHILDREN (x8)
  58.  
  59. it’s so great to be in the IDF
  60. running from legitimate problems!
  61. we strive for pure illegitimacy
  62. but don’t you tell em that, YEAAH
  63. no wonder we all don’t give an F
  64. our grades were already in the bottoms
  65. flunked morality class, don’t give a rat’s ass
  66. about no one’s hearts but OURS, YEAAAH
  67.  
  68. do you really think you deserve to live?
  69. because from what the law is telling me, you’re a liability!
  70. so don’t take it personally, i’ll take you out of your misserryyyy..
  71. maybe yahweh will recycle your soul!
  72. we should’ve killed you all years agooo
  73. but that would make us no different than the group that threatened our lives
  74. all those sour years, are we reaping what they sew?
  75. it’s okay if it’s under the guise of war!
  76.  
  77. benjamin netanyahu…
  78. breaking bennnnjaaamiiiin…
  79.  
  80. do you want to know how i bomb children? (x3)
  81.  
  82. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I BOMB CHILDREN
  83. (oh boy, because i sure as hell wanna!)
  84.  
  85. do you want to know how i bomb children? (x2)
  86.  
  87. I DON’T CARE IF YOU DIDN’T ASK
  88. GOVERNMENT MANDATED GAASS
  89.  
  90. //During the last bit of the “beat,” J Fee is seen breakdancing, and then the beat ends before it is supposed to loop.
  91.  
  92. J Fee: DOWN WITH ISRAEL! WOOOOOOOOO!
  93.  
  94. //J Fee looks at the crowd in the HQ, expecting them to cheer.
  95.  
  96. J Fee: So uh.. whaddya think?
  97. GenXjeezy: It’s trash.
  98. J Fee: ..what?
  99.  
  100. King_Criminal: Bro do you even know what rap is? Like.. you rapping about IDF is ridiculous. How is anyone gonna relate to that shit?
  101. J Fee: What do you mean? It doesn’t have to; it’s a parody.
  102. WMX: Retard, do you think we want this type of trash in our group? This does not scream rap culture at all.
  103. GenXjeezy: Yeah, everyone knows that you must rap about the hoes, the drugs, the struggles, the faggots, the crossdressers, whatever the general populace can relate to.
  104. King_Criminal: Also what kind of fucking beats you using? That’s from a video game. Use actual beats.
  105.  
  106. GenXjeezy: J Fee, I hereby excommunicate you from this group. The funds you haven’t spent yet will go back to us. Grab your stuff and get the fuck out of our building.
  107.  
  108. //J Fee is seen with his luggage, outside the HQ, and with PG.
  109.  
  110. Pimpster Goomba: Well J Fee, sorry you had to get kicked out, but yeah, you had it coming, not gonna lie.
  111. J Fee: Yeah. Lesson learned.
  112. Pimpster Goomba: So.. you gonna come back to the studio now?
  113. J Fee: No, I’m done for the day. I’m gonna use my spare money to head to the bar.
  114. Pimpster Goomba: Alright then.. Should I come with you?
  115. J Fee: Nah.
  116. Pimpster Goomba: Aight, cya..
  117.  
  118. //PG and J Fee go their separate ways. And then an hour later, in the bar, J Fee has finished drinking his second beer. The bartender walks by.
  119.  
  120. Bart T. Ender: Another one?
  121. J Fee: Yes, please.
  122.  
  123. //The bartender takes the cup, fills it with beer, and hands it back to J Fee. He takes his first sip of it.
  124.  
  125. “Funny how hours ago, I was raising funds. Now I lost over half of my income. It’s like the line in the graph came crashing down, so much so that even the numbers be breaking.
  126.  
  127. Breaking like a buncha broke numbuhs…”
  128.  
  129. //THE END

Lyrics added by JeffyDaRapper

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