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MIYAMOTION [Part 14] - Darker, Darker, Yet Darker

  1. //Chef Pee Pee and Alien are traveling through space, in search of a black hole.
  2.  
  3. Alien: How you holding up, Chef Pee Pee? Liking the views?
  4. Chef Pee Pee: Yeah! We gotta visit some of these places sometime.
  5. Alien: We’ll see, my friend.
  6. Chef Pee Pee: Well uh, how much longer until the black hole?
  7. Alien: Well, our best bet will be the supermassive black hole in the center of the galaxy. That’ll be our best bet.
  8. Chef Pee Pee: Sounds scary, but I get it.
  9. Alien: We’ll be fine.
  10.  
  11. Chef Pee Pee: Hey wait, wouldn’t it be easier to use a wormhole?
  12. Alien: Wormholes can’t take you near black holes of any kind. Besides, it’s easiest to travel directly to the center using my UPS than find a wormhole.
  13. Chef Pee Pee: UPS?..
  14. Alien: The Universal Positioning System.
  15. Chef Pee Pee: Oh.. I get it. Did you steal that idea from us? The GPS thing?
  16. Alien: Oh no, we invented pretty much everything before you guys did. And are about to invent.
  17. Chef Pee Pee: Would you be able to teach us your ways?
  18. Alien: Nah, that would be too much. And hey, does the human race really deserve such knowledge? Especially when most of ya are inconsiderate jerks?
  19. Chef Pee Pee: Is that the impression you always get from us?
  20. Alien: Well yes. You guys act all nice and then turn around, raping and killing. Funny how morality is a spectrum; you never know.
  21.  
  22. Chef Pee Pee: Ah, whatever. I bet you guys do the same thing.
  23. Alien: Well, we DID. Until we invented shit like the Ultimate Inhibition. We pummeled that issue to the ground. You humans have about 800 years of catching up to us still.
  24. Chef Pee Pee: But what about the invading aliens?
  25. Alien: Unfortunately, animosity between alien races still happen sometimes. Not every alien nature is gonna click with each other. Good news was, not much fighting has been happening ever since the peace treaty.. until now.
  26. Chef Pee Pee: Why do you think the invaders are following Miyamoto’s ways? Ignoring their inhibitions just for him?
  27. Alien: With Miyamoto, anything’s possible. Other realities can be stronger than others, and he’s the owner of one. From what I understand, we’re just a derivative version of his world. And he wants to get rid of all of us.
  28. Chef Pee Pee: Hm.. That makes sense.
  29.  
  30. //The spare spaceship keeps making its way to the center, until…
  31.  
  32. Alien: Chef Pee Pee, wake up!
  33. Chef Pee Pee: ..Huh, whuh?
  34. Alien: We are approaching Sagittarius A*!
  35. Chef Pee Pee: Whuzzat?
  36. Alien: Look for yourself.
  37.  
  38. //Chef Pee Pee looks at the front window to see the supermassive black hole, floating before them.
  39.  
  40. Chef Pee Pee: Holy shit!
  41. Alien: Yes, feast your eyes, peepee. This is the REAL space now.
  42. Chef Pee Pee: I’m.. not sure I’m prepared for this!
  43. Alien: We’re gonna have to be. Miyamoto will kill us all. Whatever fate he has planned for us pales in comparison to this.
  44. Chef Pee Pee: Well.. here goes nothing.
  45. Alien: Being spaghettified isn’t that bad. My grandfather told me so, anyway. Feels like you’re just getting stretched, in a non painful way.
  46. Chef Pee Pee: If you say so..
  47.  
  48. Alien: On the count of three, we are gonna zoom right in there.
  49. Chef Pee Pee: Okay..
  50. Alien: One..
  51.  
  52. Alien: Two..
  53.  
  54. Alien: THREE!
  55.  
  56. //The spaceship then zooms right quick to the event horizon.
  57.  
  58. Chef Pee Pee: AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!
  59. Alien: HERE WE COME!!
  60.  
  61. //The spaceship, as well as Chef Pee Pee and Alien, get spaghettified, as space and time go backwards right before their eyes.
  62.  
  63. //And then..
  64.  
  65. //The ship crashlands into a dark void (but not the one you think).
  66.  
  67. //Chef Pee Pee and Alien are knocked out from the crashlanding. Eventually, they come to and get up.
  68.  
  69. Chef Pee Pee: Ugh.. what happened?
  70. Alien: I think we made it.
  71. Chef Pee Pee: We’re alive? WE’RE ALIVE?! Thank god!
  72. Alien: Yes, we should be in another universe.
  73. Chef Pee Pee: It seems oddly dark outside, though..
  74. Alien: Oh, must be night out on this planet. Or we could be at the edge of the universe, where almost no stars are present.
  75. Chef Pee Pee: Well uh, I think we crashed somewhere. Is the ship alright?
  76. Alien: Hmm.. yeah, we did crash hard. Our lights are clearly still on, so it probably still can fly.
  77.  
  78. Alien: Actually, on second thought, let me go look outside first. Take a little spacewalk.
  79. Chef Pee Pee: Sounds good.
  80.  
  81. //Alien goes to the exit hatch, and the door opens downward, and then the door (now a ramp) lands on seemingly solid dark ground, much to the Alien’s confusion.
  82.  
  83. Alien: (Huh? Did that door just hit something??)
  84.  
  85. //Alien then summons a tangible, nondescript orange cube and throws it out there. Just like the ramp, it clearly lands on solid ground.
  86.  
  87. Alien: Oh my god. I fucked up.
  88.  
  89. //Alien runs back to the main room where Chef Pee Pee is waiting.
  90.  
  91. Alien: Chef Pee Pee, we’re in a void.
  92. Chef Pee Pee: ..what?
  93. Alien: Yeah, we’re in limbo, or whatever the fuck this place is.
  94. Chef Pee Pee: Is that why it’s dark outside?!
  95. Alien: Yes. I might’ve been wrong about black holes.
  96. Chef Pee Pee: I told you! I told you black holes can’t take you to other universes, but you didn’t listen! Maybe we are superior than you after all!
  97. Alien: As if. Just because a broken clock is right twice a day doesn’t mean it’s reliable.
  98.  
  99. Chef Pee Pee: And what of your grandfather? Did he say the same thing when he entered a black hole?
  100. Alien: Matter of fact.. Yes, he did. He said it was all dark. Yet he assumed it was another universe; a “dark one.”
  101. Chef Pee Pee: Wait, so if he lived to tell the tale, that means we can get out!
  102. Alien: Yes. Problem is, I don’t think he ever told me how he came back. But uh, like I said, the ship should still work. For now, we can go outside and walk around.
  103. Chef Pee Pee: We can?
  104. Alien: Yes, it’s solid ground that we landed on. I tested it. It may be unsettling since the landscape all looks the same, but yeah, we are on ground.
  105. Chef Pee Pee: Are you sure I can breathe out there?
  106. Alien: Yes.
  107. Chef Pee Pee: Well okay then.
  108.  
  109. //Alien and Chef Pee Pee exit the spaceship, and step on the solid dark ground.
  110.  
  111. Chef Pee Pee: Fuck, it’s like we’re in the armpit of the universe..
  112.  
  113. Chef Pee Pee: So what should we do?
  114. Alien: Let’s just wander around and see what we can find. If we don’t find anything, we head back in the spaceship and start flying anywhere we can.
  115. Chef Pee Pee: It’s the only plan we’re gonna get, anyway..
  116.  
  117. //Chef Pee Pee and Alien start walking around. After a while, they start to see somebody in the distance.
  118.  
  119. Alien: Halt! I see with my alien eyes a dot that vaguely resembles a human.
  120. Chef Pee Pee: Wait, a human?! You think they know a way out of here?
  121. Alien: Yes. They seem far though. Let’s go back to my spaceship. We can travel the distance quicker.
  122. Chef Pee Pee: Why didn’t we use the ship in the first place??
  123. Alien: Uh..
  124. Chef Pee Pee: Don’t UH me!
  125. Alien: Let’s just get in the spaceship already..
  126.  
  127. //They both walk all the way back to the spaceship, and then use it to go miles towards the dot.
  128.  
  129. //They walk out to see Jeff ton, standing, blinking.
  130.  
  131. Jeff ton: What were these noises? Come on, I said show yourself!
  132.  
  133. Alien: Uh.. greetings, gray faced human.
  134. Jeff ton: Who are you? Reveal yourself!
  135. Alien: We’re over to your right.
  136. Jeff ton: Oh ha ha, Miyamoto. Very funny. I can’t see or feel shit. Just reveal yourself to me already.
  137.  
  138. Chef Pee Pee: ..uh, what’s he talking about?
  139. Alien: I don’t know. I have never been this confused in my life.
  140. Jeff ton: MIYAMOTO! STOP FUCKING MOCKING ME! If you want me dead, if you want me killed.. JUST FUCKING DO IT. STOP. TORTURING. ME!
  141.  
  142. //Alien then suddenly slaps Jeff ton in the face, and he falls down to the ground.
  143.  
  144. Jeff ton: ACK!
  145.  
  146. //Jeff ton lays down there.
  147.  
  148. Alien: Do you see us now?! We’re not Miyamoto!
  149. Chef Pee Pee: Alien guy, was that really necessary?
  150. Alien: Yes, he was acting crazy!
  151.  
  152. //Jeff ton realizes that he can see them both, and stands up.
  153.  
  154. Jeff ton: What did you guys just do?
  155.  
  156. //Chef Pee Pee realizes that he looks like Jeffy.
  157.  
  158. Chef Pee Pee: Wh You look like Jeffy! Except all.. colorless?
  159. Jeff ton: Yeah, I’m an alter ego created by him. Duh.
  160.  
  161. //To be continued in part fifteen…

Lyrics added by JeffyDaRapper

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