Battles -ian- vs Funkatron
RULES
BYOB: Enemy at the Gates battle to be the "Gatekeeper to the Throne" 2 min acapella, let's go!
Max of 64 lines
THIS BATTLE IS OVER
-ian- won this battle!
3 ROUNDS
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Battle on March 2 2016 and Battle on May 21 2017
CHALLENGER'S RAP
- It ain’t only the BYOB title on the line – there’s a new job description
- “Gatekeeper to the Throne” but I got some funky competition
- Y’all wanna know how he got here? Funk was probing the admin
- Whinging that by rights he should be in title fights despite not having a big win
- Bitching about where he sits like every Rappad Top 10 list; man his cry’s savage
- Ain’t hard to relate him to DCYPHR/the cypher crying like he’s Clyde Cabbage
- So I said: “Why not grant him a rematch – redemption through the duel"
- Cuz I’m sure he’d say the first time I had his measure was just an exception to the rule
- But don’t he get this news and ZOOM! He runs for cover
- I'll run this Fatboy Slim, But right about now…I’m just hoping the Funk Show, Brother.
- But I knew it would be you, Funk, This ain’t the first time you’ve taken the bait
- Like when Olo was raising the shade – shining –he had you raging with hate
- And you got all pissy like a pussy with his classic fish hook tactics
- And the Net had yet another sour puss bitch like a spastic kid who’s catfished
- Olo almost had to do one of his Requiem schemes – well I’ll keep this Requiem for a Theme
- Cuz in this vein I’ll smack you up and disarm you like in Requiem for a Dream.
- Unless it’s a pipe dream, of course, But let’s keep away from the topic of copper
- Cuz we both know what happens when your well-wishes are tossed in the offer
- Bro, I forgive your biting my bars for Toosense; coins in a fountain IS a totally clever taunt
- And imitation is flattery after all, but next time don’t write in a such woefully lesser font.
- Cuz you know you don't got bars, and I know you worry how people be reading them
- want proof? Look at all those golden annotations, it shows you don't even believe in 'em
- Oooh…now I got this phony silenced but my texts blow up like it’s an emojihad/emo jihad
- And so I’m flagging you for battle: Funk, you’ve just been Iwojima’d
- Cuz I really wasn’t lying back when I calmed a salty Isak
- I said: “I only go out with red dots across the whites of my eyes like Kamikaze pilots”
- But you? You’re like the Japanese emperor waving the white flag but with no sun
- Funk, Funk, Funk: don’t you know that’s what happens when you Shogun/show gun?
- But even if the wheels came off the track and there’s death in the ranks
- I’ll go for a killer ride inside my Fury cuz I always got something left in the Tank.
DEFENDER'S RAP
- Look...
- You've gone about as far as you can go with your monotone,
- You outta road, now we on the dirt and that's all that I know,
- Lil skrrt, lil pull, this'll hurt lil hoe,
- All you do is talk, so you ain't landing no blows,
- We honed our angles in the pen, Pompeii'd written Bastille walls,
- But if you close your eyes,
- You can always hear that droid ain't changed at all,
- So let's get back to battle RAPPIN,
- Back to comin' up RABBID,
- Back to infectious gab, and sorry he just don't HAVE IT!
- Don't release that shit!
- He'll be in geriatrics when first disempact, bitch!
- I read you like a book, your music should Prolly be this way,
- Cuz, the Funkatron says, Ian sounds like a See n' Say,
- If you can't pinch two cents/too sense, you shouldn't bull shit with me,
- You were too broke to buy the farm, but chill, this body bag is free,
- It's acute/a cute angle, you being betta, i deaded your boy, mangled,
- 'Cuz Im on point, on top of this triangle,**
- I kill it because its all directly related,
- The blood line gets worked, when you rewind it and play it,
- Cuz this onanist loves to watch clips, so watch this,
- You think your family matters? I'm Severin family ties,
- A kin to cut away, like this is fucking Family Guy,
- You can drop the droid, but still get dropped by droid bars,
- Cuz I had you down to the wire, were you were deviod a heart,
- That dissociated identity wrought disorder, defined you,
- Had to set em free, he didn't know who confined who,
- And now he's only fucking shcizo, if he think i won't find truth,***
- Disorded your illness's mentally, the job and wife a state mind too?
- Paralyze this "paramedic's" parasympathetic,
- With a pair of punches, aimed to take Ian from where his head is,
- I'd tell 'em to get fucked, but know 1st hand the low percentages,
- This porn hubbers only burns the rubbers with 5 appendages,
- So Im knowin "your" baby's pussy like the back of my hand,
- While you shufflin knuckle children, in the back of a van!
- **(if ian beat me narrowly, and too beat ian narrowly, and i stomped too, i consider this a triangle, a beef triangle if you will, and im on top)
- ***(schizophrenia is defined by auditory or visaul hallucination, so he's hallucinating if he thinks i won't suss out that he may be lying)