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That feeling of romantic love was so fantastic

Till I realized it ain't real, I never had it

I loved the idea, till the idea made me bad shit

And it all went to hell like fuck, I'm mad still

And now I mask it, feelings got me asking

Why's love so cruel, Cupid out there laughing

Cause he struck my heart, he gave me a passion

Someone I'd die for, can't really explain how it happened

But she's gone now, Cupid's arrow now an assassin

Cause that love grew cold from one side, an inverse reaction

The more I loved, the more she grew distant

Till it hit me, there was no more love in that instant

Only pain so tremendous, how am I gon get through it

Everything that once felt real seems so fruitless

Turmoil in my heart, I tried acting ruthless

But as much as I wanted to hate, hearing her voice was therapudic

 

Now all that's left is what could've been

What could have happened if I was a stronger man

Man enough to admit that he was broken

And fix his mindset, that girl wasn't just a token

She wasn't just a happy thought in my head

Not just a girl to get busy with in bed

No she was everything, but I had to much pride to show it

I took it for granted, never crossed my mind that I'd blow it

 

But I blew it, and i was mad at myself about it

Cause I let the girl of my dreams walk off, and there nothing I could do about it

I know I gotta let go, but how can I live without it

That feeling I had, maybe she still got it, I truly doubt it

I doubt things will ever be the same

Doubt that crazy feeling I feel will ever be sane

Doubt she'll ever stop crossing my mind as night turns day

Doubt all the scenes I've seen in my dreams will go away

But hey

Maybe love will find me in an unexpected place

Maybe a new face will draw the attention of my gaze

Maybe soon the mention of her name won't end in pain

Maybe I'll gain the strength to turn away

Away from the memories, move on to a new life

Live a changed man, live without spite

Live in the moment, and when the moment is right

Give all I have on one knee to my wife

 

God knows I wish I knew those future plans

He knows I know I need to be a better man

Anger in my heart leads to anger with my hands

I have a bitter heart, still brittle and lost like a lamb

Who am I, who have I become since my youth

I'm to young to have lost what used to be truth

I used to be happy, I knew I could do it all

But who knew I'd break after just one fall

 

And now I got a padlock on my old soul

Freezer box is where my cold heart goes

Cause all I know is to let this sad feeling flow

But I hope being an asshole ain't what the future holds

So now I sit here, crossroads ahead of me

As Dark thoughts invade and try to envelope me

Like I never wanted nothing but to make her happy

But being with me is what made her unhappy

I'm unhappy

I blame myself over and over and over

Heart been broken now getting colder and colder

Winter blues from getting bruised yeah I ain't no soldier

I'm in my feels, it's too real, I just need a shoulder

A shoulder to cry on, it's been tough moving on

Sometimes it feels hopeful, sometimes it don't

Sometimes Im joyful, sometimes I'm not

Sometimes I wanna die, but for her I wont

 

I won't give up that easy, this life has purpose

And though I'm broken, success will be worth it

I won't do for her, I'll do it for me

She gave me that gift, I hate it, but it's what I need

Time will pass, feelings and memories will fade

I'll hold on to what little we had made

Until I find the will to move on too

Still Life was better off with you