For the Fans

[Verse 1]

Fans watching now, "Will give us more"

A lotta' people thinking they know what I do it for,

Not a man for comments, not a guy for telling

But all I see is pain, struggle and a lotta yelling

I do it for a hole, a hole inside my heart

A place where I can go to sing before I tear apart

I do it for my God, who's always there for me

When my friend overdosed and left me here to bleed

I do it for my fans, some think they comprehend

But some of them are all alone-And those I understand, ah

I do it for my country, a lot of people need

A purpose even though I don't see one in me

I've been searching hard, I've been on the move

I've been praying to my God "Now what'd I do?"

I'm mentally exhausted, I'm torn between the two

1 I'm trying to find my place in this and start over new

The next is kinda iffy, I could just do this one

2 Do I continue writing and making all these songs?

A letter from your fan: "Don't stop until you're dead

Cuz if you ever stopped it would be me that's dead instead

I need your music still, cuz I'm a blurry mess

When you're repping your creator, I don't feel hopelessness

You have saved my life, I know it's hard to see

But the impact you are making is the first of much to be, Yah

 

[Chorus]

I'm sick of all this pain and I'm sick of all this hurt,

I'm tryna make it better but it seems to get worse,

I'm always staying up, thinking bout the past,

I'm doing what I want cause my life is all i have,

I'm doing what I love, I'm not thinking bout the hate,

I'm gonna move on because I don't wanna wait,

I don't wanna wait for them to say that they're sorry,

Im sick of crying every night I'm sick of being worried

 

 

[Verse 2]

Fighting for my freedom, overcome my demons,

The mania’s taking over so these words they’re unleashing,

Voices talking to me, I don’t know why they’re speaking,

Inside my heads a dark place and I can never sleep and,

Everyday feels the same, I can never catch a break,

It seems every decision I choose is a mistake,

This life feels like a nightmare, when will I awake?

Yet I’m breathing in the universe with every breath I take.

There was a time in my life when I felt mentally OK,

Nowadays it seems I’m turning mentally deranged,

Is this what it’s like to be mentally insane?

I hate every single memory that’s inside of my brain.

Did God make me different for a reason?

Because there’s something that makes me wanna continue breathing,

I often wonder if it’d make a difference if I was to leave and,

Give up on life, love and every single thing that I believe in.