3 am thought

I govern my concerns

Confused how you can turn from

Melting my heart to making my stomach churn

Too stubborn to learn

Repeat the same pattern

Unable to discern

My decisions like an intern

My internal thoughts

Need eternal walks

My heart transformed metamorphic rock

It's time for me to block

It's time for me to plot

A new scheme

Proceed to getting rid of caught

Emotions

Which come out as explosions

I'm throwing in punches

But I'm open

I got hooked and I got knocked down

If you feel for me step away from the background

 

The issue is I cannot forget

I'd break a sweat

To stop caring but my heart is set

On moving back like a broken cassette

That insists of repeating the same sentences

My sentence is

Pain for as long as long as I live

At least I have a way for me to depict

The way that I feel towards moving on from this

My conscience is

Telling me I can't live like this

Move on move on run it like a marathon

You're getting beat on

Like you're in an octagon

Don't fake being the strong

Emotionless dude

You wouldn't been here if it was the truth

Now what's the actual truth?

Well man

I'm depressed

Wish that i could finally rest

Wish a meaning I possessed

That I didn't do shit to impress

Everything is one huge mess

Life is nothing but a test

For the after life there are two paths

Wrong or correct

I respect

People that are genuinely honest

People that bullshit all the time

Had my respect but lost it

You're so dishonest

My trust in you has been lockpicked

I had so much trust in you now I kinda feel sick

You see I'm

Easily tricked with the shit that people say to me

It all seems honest and most genuine to me

Now I'm one of these people that generally see

Every person that I see

Honestly seems to be

A filthy liar

Like nah man I'm just tired

Just need the sleep required

And I will be rewired

I guess I'm hypocritical

I'm this certain aspect

Because I say this all the time

And never think much of it

In my defense

I only use it on those that do not care

They're never there

They never were

They only hand out empty words

Like I'll never leave

You will leave me

I'm not known to ever deceive

I'll be here

No matter what happens

No matter how hard it is

You can trust me

That's the biggest lie of all

The second you fall

Nothing at all

No reaction no one to help

Just yourself and the loneliest pain

Life is the mother of rubric games

How you solve it isn't the same

As anyone else so do not complain

Or should you complain

I'm going insane

With the brain

Than never

Seems to ever

Shut the hell up

Overthinking is a prison

And in it I'm locked up

Does anyone actually like me?

Is there anyone out there like me?

Is it even something likely?

Finding a person to hold onto tightly?