Suicide Note.

I'm siting here fixing to end my sorrow, it'll be a miracle if I live until

tomorrow, I'm for real contemplating the kill, but I don't know if I have the

will, if its instilled, I have the desire to be killed, but to take my own life with

my knife goes against my own nature, but so did using a razor.

 

I hope you find something of value in my suicide note, I hope you read it to

your kids one day, and choke when you say this is the last note he wrote.

 

I haven't changed my thoughts drive me insane I wonder this world in chains

of depression and anxiety, I cant speak up so I suffer quietly, I worry about

everything yet I feel nothing, I wonder if when my throats cut will I feel

something?

 

My therapy doesn't work, he cant take away the hurt, I know that before

death I will feel no regret, people say in hell ill be sorry, bet, I feel no regret

don't act upset, you refused to understand when I was alive, my life has

went downhill since five, it was hell then I moved to hell in paradise, my

life status will soon be revised to no longer alive.

 

Like when Jake told me to kill myself in the chess meeting, I really wanted

to accept deaths greeting, its would be relieving, I'm tired of reliving the

hurt, it only gets worse, and my only outlet is this verse.

 

So this here is my outro, if you are holding on to me let go, down to death I

go, and I wont bounce back up, because fuck, even the fat jokes I brush off

get to me, but I'm not weak so I won't let you see, I'm an atheist but I scream

god kill me.

 

I'm writing in solitude, in Alabama they told me lose the attitude, but the

attitude was depression and pent up aggression, I've been living my life

in a steady recession, I need another alcoholic session, so my nerve for

suicide I can refreshion.