Take The Lump Sum

How a Bill Becomes Law

Democratic process, that’s how it goes

More like pimps puttin’ out cigarettes

On their hapless ho’s

 

If you don’t vote, don’t complain about the result

You have heard, no doubt, that jive-ass insult

Think you got more choice than Pepsi versus Coke?

Then pass me that pipe, ‘cuz I too want a toke

 

Maybe I can just drink my way out of this mess

Got my Freedom of Choice, where more equals less

Pilsner, ale, lager, stout, by all means take your pick

Cooler door’s open, better grab somethin’ quick

 

How a Crispy Stack of Bills Becomes Law

Corporate lobbyist shills, they write every word

Then it goes to committee

Puppet show of the absurd

 

They feed you Scorn Flakes by the heapin’ bowl

Fixin’ to microchip you and short sell your soul

Judas goats lead the Sheeple down the path to mutton

They can bleat all they want, but that won't do nothin'

 

I elect two tall boys and appoint a sad-ass sack of Doritos

Magazine headline pushin’ vaccines in mosquitoes

They gonna mainline you with junk, if you like it or not

I slap a sweaty twenty on the counter, cuz that's all I got

 

How a Hundred-Dollar Bill Becomes Law

Without ever bein’ read, it goes to a vote

Gets ramrodded through the House

By some bought 'n' paid-for turncoat

 

What’s one more sellout, another Big Lie?

Small price to pay for the best system money can buy

Kickbacks for politicians handed off in the park

Blown on five-grand hookers turnin’ tricks in the dark

 

I see the Jackpot’s over two hundred million again

To not take a chance would be a jackass sin

All you need is a little bit of luck, says the CGI midget

So I circle five numbers, plus a Powerball digit

 

How Swill Becomes Law

At last, it gets signed or vetoed

If it don’t serve its paymasters

It’s long since been torpedoed

 

Dollar and a Dream, keep clutchin' that ticket

Forget the long odds, math’s a real sticky wicket

If I win it all, I’m gonna take the lump sum

Go lie on the beach, sippin' daiquiris and rum

 

I whisk my gewgaws back up to my apt

Crack a cold one, watch the news, my attention quite rapt

Flickerin' pixels put the RGB hex on me

Alpha-state so soothin' that I finally can see

 

Disregard what I was sayin', so bitter and snide

Talkin' head pundits set my paranoid delusions aside

Quiet on the set--stop shovellin’ chips in your maw

Some sexed-up strumpet’s splainin’ me...

...how a bill becomes law