Contemplations on Silence

I wish that they still burned us instead of simply deridin’,

Dismissal is a violence I can’t take, so I pray silent,

But every second I stay quiet,

I can feel my soul get a little colder,

I can feel the old fire start to smolder,

They tell me that it’s just me gettin’ wiser and older,

Growin’ up, gettin’ tired of all the lies and the culture,

All the bigotry, the lack of symmetry with the world as it seems to be,

But what about what it means to me?

I keep havin’ dreams ‘bout the past,

All the times that I could see you through a glass that was half brighter,

Before bein’ the last writer to flash the light of your life

Became a golden calf I don’t know

How I switched that with this vast idol,

I guess that’s just what happens when you stand idle,

Lack of action leads to lack of thought which leads to lack of caring,

But how can I be crushed by a burden that I don’t even carry?

 

Lord forgive me for my silence,

Forgive me for the violence I committed in the quiet of my soul,

Forgive me for the riot I never tried to control,

Forgive me my defiance as I couldn’t let go.

All that times I forgot that I should have remembered,

All the times I didn’t bother when I should have surrendered,

I hope you chase the man that runs away from you,

‘Cause only thing I seem to do is run away from you.

 

Forgive me for the apathy entrappin’ me,

If I wind up in heaven, it’s only ‘cause you captured me,

I need you chasin’ after me, ‘cause actually

I’m not that interested in what you have for me.

Is that blasphemy?

I can still remember when I prayed daily,

Callin’ on your name - shaky,

Lookin’ for grace - maybe

The look in your face would save me from myself.

Selfishly I’d reach for help,

Desperate for your hand and I felt . . .

Sometimes an answer, but sometimes nothing.

I didn’t know what to do when I couldn’t stop runnin’,

Survivin’ the crushin’ weight of your voiceless signs,

I learned to live without you, kept my voice inside,

Chasin’ shadows cast by a pointless mime,

Just felt like a waste of time,

So I grew quiet with the silence,

There’s just one thing that I can’t seem to put behind:

Whose silence was it: yours or mine?

 

Our Father, who art in heaven,

Hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, they will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,

And forgive us our trespasses,

As we forgive those who trespass against us,

And lead us not into temptation,

But deliver us from evil,

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory,

Forever and ever,

Amen.