Cold Hazy Battle

Depressing shit describes my life

always being put down, pushed back no matter how hard I strive

Crack baby born to a wannabe porn star

not having a memory of her is probably my worst scar

adopted at three

by a woman who only wanted a ring from my daddy

jealous of the fact I was there before her

and didn't really care about my future

perfection was for what I strived

being my sister, when I said I wasn't jealous of her, I lied

she had everything I wanted

she was pretty and smart and for one she had my dad's heart

I am the poster child for daddy issues

but I don't use it as an excuse

I push myself harder everyday

coz sitting around feeling sorry for your self doesn't pay

At 16 I realized that this life wasn't what I wanted

by my past and all the yelling and beating I was haunted

Blade in my hand eyeing my wrist

moving it carefully across my skin like it was a paintbrush and I was an artist

I stopped before I it got worse

no one was gonna get the best of me, they'll get what they deserved