Expectation

Looking back at all the hot boxes with friends,

Pointless parties, pointless hookups, it's just...

Seems meaningless

 

never lives to the expectation that I'm placing to get my heart racing

Feeling vacant when they ain't around, shaken

used to get bud I'm not faking my worlds shaking

my fragile hearts breaking

when my lungs aching from the constant baking

Taking a decent deal then raising with the confidence

they'll be dazed and amazed and everything will start changing

 

least that's what I assume,

consumed by negative things presume about you

Since the debut spoke from an honest point

of view of all the things gone askew, endless pursue

Til the end I won't bid ado,

drank the poison yet became the medicine

meditation maybe or the dedication fixed that reputation

Of Being feasted on by critics like I'm venison

 

I try to teach a lesson, but I ain't no damn professor,

I don't sensor the fact fame is my treasure

In this game I have no measure, I could go nowhere right?

But holy shit what if I actually get better

I move ahead and tumble through this jungle

I've struggled with bullshit troubles

avoiding happiness made pain double

And double and double

 

As I sit unconscious, well conscious but mentally drifting off to nonsense

Glance at me in school context, upcoming prospect,

not it, Teachers think I'm rotten,

burnout all that's processed,

glad I'll be outta here soon maybe college?

Doubt it, leave and acquire knowledge,

to me seems like better logic

 

look at me see the same kid through years slightly changing

honestly ain't no old me remaining,

finally escaping, Voids gaping, fears awaken,