Moving home
• Written by KRM
I've moved into a new place and we're all sleeping on one mattress
Me, my wife and kids, the dog and a cactus
All five chickens, the fridge and a box of matches
The spider under my bed, the one from the shed and the attic
When I was getting him, I got a squirrel in there too
Bought that brother along with the garden fucking shrew
My bath mat, hazmat, salad from the trash can
A ban pan, a man's man, a hammock filled with Tampax
3 sand bags, and some amphrax, 2 deer and their antlers
A woman's legs, 6 gangs of eggs, all beefing over who gets scranned next
The activist, high off cannabis, who used to go to the salon to tan her chips
A manifest filled with rabbit pics and cabbage snips
"I've never seen this before, who's lamp is this?"
A damaged disc, an average list, a box full of packaged cysts
"Sally, sit!" The crack shaft stick under the pile of bricks
Is where I found my favourite book about famished kids
Moving house, it ain't fun
You get all the best bits, forget some
Moving house, it ain't fun
Got my shoes and some screws but not my damn thumb
Moving house, it ain't fun
You get all the best bits, forget some
Moving house, it ain't fun
Got my mouse and my towels but left my damn son
"What else did I bring?" I bought a candle
And a duck statue off my matel
"Marbles?" I've got a van full
Kept right next to the authentic Jesus sandal
I got plant food, I got ant food, I got my boom box, "watch my fucking dance moves"
Didn't bring my toilet, can't afford it
So I shit in my welly boot and record it
Will my doors fit? Imma sort it
I'll put my dining room table in my closet
"Oh shit..." real quickly, let me org this
Like it's Tetris, stack the edges with veggies
Got my broom and my necklace and a room full of ferrets
See if you can find me, bitch, I loom where my bed is
Hiding under the bed sheets on the second shelf right next to the red meats
Bread yeast, pet geese and all types of spaghetti
A dead priest, 2 jet skis, yetis, Lionel Messi
But I fucking forgot my bottle of Pepsi
