ART OF SUICIDE

[Intro: Alfie McLoughlin]

They told me my name was supposed to echo forever like it meant something divine in

the mouths of people who don't know me but still decide what I am

So I built myself louder than silence could ever accuse me of being irrelevant,

and now even the silence feels like it's reviewing me in real time.

I wake up inside applause I can't remember earning

and I swear I can hear it even when nobody's talking

 

[Bridge: Ellie Jackson-Woo]

They call it art when it bleeds

so I started writing in wounds instead of words

but now the ink feels like it's learning my shape

and rewriting me without permission

 

[Verse One: Alfie McLoughlin]

I read comments like they're written to erase my name

Every sentence hits like it was built for blame

They say I changed like it's a kind of crime

But I changed to survive every line

My ego still talks but it's losing tone

Like it knows it's not alone

Applause used to feel like proof I'm real

Now it feels like something I can't feel

 

[Pre-Chorus: Ellie Jackson-Woo]

You said you're unbreakable like it's carved in stone

But even stone starts cracking when it's alone

 

[Chorus: Alfie McLoughlin]

I don't feel real in this reflection

It keeps shifting direction

Pick a side, it's confliction

I'm stuck chasing perfection

I might just pick up the knife

Yeah, that's the art of suicide

It's the date, the day I nearly died

I don't know how I survived

 

[Verse Two: Alfie McLoughlin]

Every city feels like Deja Vu again

Like I already lived this end

I've already played pretend

I know this story's trend

Even silence feels like it's judging me

Like it knows what I should be

I perform control when I'm not okay

Like I learned the lines to say

My thoughts feel broadcast not inside

Like I'm watching myself collide

Comfort feels rehearsed and fake

Though I guess it is something that I make

The more I win the less I stand

Like I'm slipping through my hand

I mistrust calm it feels too loud

Like it's hiding in the crowd

 

[Bridge: Ellie Jackson-Woo]

And you still chase what breaks you down

Just to wear the crown

It's embarrassing, Alfie, it's upsetting

To see you wear that frown

 

[Pre-Chorus: Ellie Jackson-Woo]

You said you're unbreakable but feel the bend

Like every version meets the end

 

[Chorus: Alfie McLoughlin]

I don't feel real in this reflection

It keeps shifting direction

Pick a side, it's confliction

I'm stuck chasing perfection

I might just pick up the knife

Yeah, that's the art of suicide

It's the date, the day I nearly died

I don't know how I survived

 

[Verse Three: Ellie Jackson-Woo]

One night it got so quiet you heard your mind

Speak without design

You didn't disappear, you just stayed still

I witnessed it with will

And even though you call it control

I just see you protecting your role

 

[Pre-Chorus: Ellie Jackson-Woo]

You're unbreakable, you've said it again

Like it fixes whatever's within

 

[Chorus: Alfie McLoughlin]

I don't feel real in this reflection

It keeps shifting direction

Pick a side, it's confliction

I'm stuck chasing perfection

I might just pick up the knife

Yeah, that's the art of suicide

It's the date, the day I nearly died

I don't know how I survived

 

[Outro: Alfie McLoughlin (Spoken)]

No! I just misunderstood it

This isn't collapse

It's adjustment

I don't fucking break

Bitch, I adapt

They'll understand

I am still Alfie Presley

Still intact

This was only distortion

Not destruction

I don't need repair

I need recognition