Knocking on Heaven’s Door

Thinking of throwing away my sword and my shield

Thinking of giving up on this journey of relief

I'm losing my energy, moving without the urge

I thought to write my dirge and worship my old grief

Sometimes I start to believe, sometimes I feel like an atheist

I used to be so hopeful, but now I've become the haziest

O Lord, I love Your worship, but it’s grown so hard for me

Every time I try to pray, something pulls me from my knees

O Lord, I hope You hear my pleas and guide my heart to peace

I’m scared to die alone, still searching for a soul at ease

O Lord, please heal my weary soul, please guide me to the shore

Please mend my wounded core and let me through Heaven’s door

I miss the man I was before my fears became my home

Before my heart turned cold and every prayer felt so alone

I keep on asking myself how long I’m meant to fight

These demons in my head keep tearing through the night

Every night I fight myself, I’m drowning in my head

Tryna kill the noise inside that whispers I’m better dead

Used to dream of paradise, now I’m terrified instead

’Cause every prayer I say feels like I’m hanging by a thread

A thread around my neck whenever my hopes are left for dead

And leaves me in a maze of depression gnawing at my chest

Still somewhere in the dark, I hear a mercy calling me

A fragile little light beyond the waves and stormy seas

So even if I crawl with shattered faith and broken bones

I’ll keep knocking on Your door and hope You call me home