Staring at Nothin’

The pains cuts me up like blades, and it reminds me of my mis-takes

Every time I say I’m happy, it’s a lie, at night I just lie down and cry

And every memory makes me sick, man, so tragic

Every bar that I write, every time I stay up ‘til midnight

Every time that I’m alright, I’m not, karma’s choking me tight

Every second I spend, man, I’m always spendin’

Looking into the mirror staring at nothin’

When I was on the streets, and I was very mean

When I was a freak, and I was fifteen

I was tormented by this kid named Bobby

One word to describe him was a hollow zombie

He pushed me around, and he pushed on the ground

So I followed him after school and I shot a few rounds

“Oh no, what I done!” I asked myself

I just ran away and I didn’t even care to pick up the shells

(Sh-sh-shot a few rounds)

Every bar that I write, every time I stay up ‘til midnight

Every time that I’m alright, I’m not, karma’s choking me tight

Every second I spend, man, I’m always spendin’

Looking into the mirror staring at nothin’

After I fled the scene, I ran home

My mom asked me “where were you?” In her ripped jeans, I was scared to the bone

In my hoodie I felt my G17, but I just bit my tongue

I just said “no where, just with my homies”, and I ran and buried my gun

And now, every time I look in the mirror

I don’t see anything but, pure terror

(Pure terror)

(P-P-Pure terror)

Every bar that I write, every time I stay up ‘til midnight

Every time that I’m alright, I’m not, karma’s choking me tight

Every second I spend, man, I’m always spendin’

Looking into the mirror staring at nothin’

I can no longer sleep

Every time I close my eyes I see the kid that I took out on the street

The guilt is like a stain on white

It never goes away no matter how much you try to wipe

I just wanna die, I just wanna say goodbye

I just wanna bring back the guy, but no matter how much I cry

I know he’ll never be back, even though I want him back bad

I wish I was a magician, dealing cards like it’s blackjack, but I can’t don’t matter if I want the Magic

I wish I was a racer, so I drive away in empty traffic

I wish I was a better person, not a failure, but I ain’t cuz my brains on automatic

I wish I grew up better just to be a better me

Cuz maybe then my mental state would free from the “what if’s”, am I crazy?

Every bar that I write, every time I stay up ‘til midnight

Every time that I’m alright, I’m not, karma’s choking me tight

Every second I spend, man, I’m always spendin’

Looking into the mirror staring at nothin’

So, am I crazy?

Do I need safety from the crap life throws at me?

Have I ruined my life?

Should I have turned myself in? Would I survive?

I swear, I hate this so much

Imma go turn myself in before I cause myself more damage

*judge*

Jack…

There never was a Bobby Morrison.

No missing person.

No body.

No gunshot reports.

Nothing.

You’re not guilty of anything.

But you’re not well.

You’re being transferred to Los Angeles Mental Hospital

for evaluation.

They’re going to figure out these visions…

and they will stop them.

*Jack*

Never existed?

But I saw him…

I swear I saw him…

Didn’t I?