Weed

I'm a crack fiend with a cracked spleen

I broke my spine when I got too rough in a wet dream

Made my fucking bedroom look like a murder scene

The police came in and taped off the room

Found my whole stash of mushrooms

Held 'em in front of my face and they choked on the fumes

"Young man, what the fuck are these? Drugs?"

"No shit, Sherlock, I got 'em from a group of thugs"

"You shouldn't hang around with people like that"

"Fuck you, man, kiss my ass"

Threw the bag of 'shrooms in his face

Ran down the stairs and came out of the place

I heard the sirens wail

"I ain't going to jail!

And if they found my stash of crack then I'm never making bail!"

So I kept running 'till the sirens stop coming

Took a look around and didn't see nothing

Suddenly the police came out of the shrubs

Holding their guns and touching their nuts

"We got you, motherfucker, you're coming with us!

We'll put a bullet in your fucking skull if you make a fuss!"

Stupid asshole, I still tried to run

Got knocked off the road by the contents of his gun

He emptied the whole fucking barrel in me

Jesus Christ, man, all I ever did was smoke weed