Difficult

Tell me why shit's so difficult

It's like I destroy everything I've built.

Why can't I socialize?

How come I choose to rationalize?

Am I trying to fuck up this opportunity?

Damn all the emphasis on community.

 

I'm sorry guys

I worry to much about lies

I tell myself daily

Maybe they are reality.

I don't know, I can't see clearly.

For a moment I wished I was blind

Just cuz I feel like I'm of my own kind.

 

I am trying for real

Crying out I don't want to steal

What is my deal?

I used to love

Until I was abused and my soul was shoved.

I know what I want

But I allow my foes to haunt

My waking life

Allowing every moment to be filled with strife.

Is this my best?

Have I lost my zest?

I keep making decisions that are wrong

Because I'm stuck in a sad sad song.

Someone who wave their magic wand

And open my eyes to the meaning of bond

I forgot how to relate.

I guess I see only hate.

No matter what picture I paint

I will never see a saint.

Instead I will follow the fallen angel

And remain forever in my personal hell./