My Family

 

Lost in my visions, stuck in a world where I think friends are more important than my own family

Ive been spending more days with friends happily but then when I look back I see my parents miserable

Everyday I leave just adds more for their struggle, my life is like a jungle, i cant see the other side half the time

But they know when I’m leaving it’s making me joyful, but maybe not a better person, im ruining my prime

Now im stuck in the middle of being happy or choosing success, inching closer to success but I don’t know if I’m making anymore progress

Fuck this shit, I can’t handle this amount of stress, so in these lyrics I will confess, im trying to play chess while im only good at checkers

I’ve done some pretty cruel things just to try to balance the measures, sending letters to my siblings, parents, aunts, uncles, even my ancestors

Asking why im feeling so many pressures like it’s covering my whole body head to toe, any other person would have made a choice but I still don’t know

There is a quote my dad said that got me thinking “friends are temporary but family is forever” but then I wish forever was never

Friends make me laugh, smile and do some dumb shit, but family makes me feel young and desperate, I need to get a grip

Like friend or foe, I need to choose a fucking side, but one is fun and happy and the other one just hurts my pride

Can I hire an expert in this category, I need someone who can guide, im trying not cry or commit fucking suicide

But right about now it’s the only cure that I see in my sight, and just because you see me laughing on the outside, im crying and dying on the interior

Then my dad shouting at me like he is inferior, “it’s always the funniest and happiest that are sad on the inside” read that quote and felt satisfied that people know

Happy pride month but don’t forget it’s mens national mental health month too, yet these bitches at my school said “boo hoo, girls deal with way worse”

If that was true I wouldn’t bring any of this shit up in this verse, 76% percent of suicides comes from a guy, so I’m gonna pray for all of you in the sky

 

 

May god rest a hand onto all of y’all’s soul, not just the men but the woman’s who heart is like coal

I want everybody to realize what I realize because I see the truth, I see a world full of emotions killing them all with the prove

May god bless you all the best and I pray for you, Boys, Men, Elders, Girls, Woman, all of you all, dont end it all just because your presence is small

 

 

Telling me what I can and cant do, sides i can choose or not to choose, im on my Shakespeare shit, to be or not to be, is only thing I get

Still stuck on the fence ive been stuck for 5 years, I need to stay sharp and to stay fierce

Telling the truth to all my peers is what I been wanting to do since I was 9 years old

Back then when I was younger, the shit that I did felt like it is straight gold

If there was a Time Machine for sale, it’s bought by me and sold, it’s cold to assume im bold

Just because I look nice and happy on the outside Doesnt mean the inside Doesnt have mold

It’s friends or my family