Survival Syntax feat. Shayd_Gray
• Written by GenXjeezy • Featuring Shayd_Gray
GenXjeezy's Notes
X Factor
Mark David Chapman (born May 10, 1955, Fort Worth, Texas, U.S.) is an American criminal who fatally shot John Lennon on December 8, 1980. He received a sentence of 20 years to life and was repeatedly denied parole.
(Intro. GenXjeezy)
0:35
Yo, let’s take a walk through the trenches of the mind—
Where the scars are invisible, but the pain stays blind.
Where survival's the only rhythm, and it’s the beats of the broken,
We’re not here to beg, we're here to make the silence open.
This is real talk—pain etched in every line,
You want the truth? It ain't pretty, but it’s mine.
So if you think you know what suffering's like,
Step into our shoes, feel the fire we ignite.
(Shayd_Gray)
Fists through the wall, plates flew past my head like shrapnel in war,
I got used to the screaming, the crashing, the lock on my door.
Stepdad red-faced, breath full of liquor and threats on repeat,
Mom crying on couches, then back to her pills to retreat.
Sometimes I’d pass out — concussion from hits I won’t name,
Came to on the carpet, forgotten, but somehow I took the blame.
I’ve been yanked by my hair, thrown hard ‘til the lights went dim,
Then told to “stop acting dramatic” — yeah, now that trauma sits in.
They laughed when I flinched, said my fear was “just for attention,”
Called me crazy, but never once offered a real intervention.
I bled in that house, not just bruises — my sanity cracked,
They ignored every sign ‘til I snapped and started fighting back.
I tried to escape — packed bags, one foot out the flame,
But something pulls me back, like I’m chained to the name.
They don’t believe in insanity, said, “it’s all in your head,”
But I’ve tasted the urge to be nothing instead.
I’ve sat in the shower with blood running down my face,
Wondering if silence would finally erase my place.
My mind’s a war zone, wired like tripwire traps,
Where one wrong look makes reality collapse.
I didn’t grow up — I adapted to hate,
Every birthday felt more like a prison escape.
IQ of 130, but they treat me like I'm fuckin' defective,
Shove meds in my face when I start sounding reflective.
They fear what I know, so they tell me I'm sick,
But ignore that I’m haunted and hollow and quick to snap slick.
I don’t need therapy — I need a damn place to be heard,
But all I got was gaslighted, shut down, and slurred.
I don’t flinch for effect — I flinch from instinct and pain,
From flashbacks of footsteps and fists I still can’t explain.
Every room held tension thick as the smoke in his lungs,
I’d count each second, then duck when the shouting begun.
I’m not just “acting out” — I was trained to react,
To brace for the hit, then go still and detach.
I spit for the ones who weren’t safe in their beds,
Who hid under covers from parents instead.
This ain’t a cry for help — it’s a verbal attack,
A blade carved in rhythm, and I won’t hold back.
You wanna judge my rage? Then step in my skin.
Let's see how you speak with your teeth kicked in.
This is survival syntax — forged in abuse,
Every rhyme a revenge, every bar is the proof.
(Hook: Shayd_Gray)
I was born in the fire, raised in the rage,
Every bruise, every scar, carved in my cage.
I’ve been broken, but I’m never gonna bend,
Survival’s in my blood, and I’ll fight 'til the end.
They tried to bury me, but I rose from the dirt,
Made my pain a weapon, now watch it all hurt.
You don’t know the hell I’ve been through,
But if you step wrong, you’ll see what’s true.
I’m a survivor, heart cold as ice,
Born from the battle, pay the price.
(GenXjeezy)
My abuser had me convinced I was a loser, thought I'd fail when I tried to maneuver
Dad was a crackhead and a boozer, by the time I was 16 I was already a heroin user
Whatever it took to kill my pain, by the time I was 17 I was also shooting cocaine
The beatings and abuse were driving me insane, I was never safe in my dad's domain
They kept me home from school so the teachers wouldn't see my busted lips and black eyes
They didn't want anyone to hear my cries because it would have ruined their disguise
The beatings, verbal abuse and psychological abuse had to be kept a secret
If I let the secret out it would have been worse for me so I had no choice but to keep it
He'd beat my mom bloody right in front of me then turn to me and say it was my fault
His specialty was assault and it left me with physical and mental scars that still haunt
I lived constantly in fear, my parents always fought and I'd overhear, I tried to stay clear
I just wanted my dad to fucking disappear, I called the cops once and my cries fell on deaf ears
My mom didn't really abuse me but she did because she's the one who let it all happen
She watched what he did to me on a daily basis and never stopped it, she had no compassion
I hate the motherfucker with a passion, the amount of hate is something you can't imagine
If I'd have had the money I'd have hired Mark David Chapman cuz what I needed was an assassin
I'd have been totally happy to see my dad dead, I would have personally shot him in the head
I would have laughed as he bled and watched his blood spread, damn right I said what I said
He's such a motherfucking jerk, I used to pray to God that he'd get killed at work
I wished him death with a smirk, he should be thanking God that I never went berserk
To this day my mom is still with him, putting up with all his motherfucking abuse
Those 2 assholes were never meant to reproduce, if I ever let loose with the pain I'd induce
I'd conduce to put his motherfucking head in a noose, then strike him down like I'm Zeus
Hang him by the neck like a fucking goose, so I have nothing to do with him, fuck a truce
In the end he bred me to be a fighter cuz if I'm anything in this life I'm a fuckin' survivor
I'm a provider, supplier, and an advisor, and as much as some of you want it, I'm not an outsider
I ain't no motherfucking liar, I really did grow up in the land of The Wire, don't make me conspire
I have everything I desire or require, and if I don't already have it then it's what I'll acquire
I can't be stopped, I'm like Superman on crack, and all that abuse has made my heart black
It's a conscience I lack, you don't want me to attack, I'll make your whole street look like Chiraq
So maybe now y'all can understand the magnitude of where I get my badass attitude
The survival syntax is in my aptitude, so I can be rude, if you're not an asshole I'll show some gratitude
(Hook:Shayd_Gray)
I was born in the fire, raised in the rage,
Every bruise, every scar, carved in my cage.
I’ve been broken, but I’m never gonna bend,
Survival’s in my blood, and I’ll fight 'til the end.
They tried to bury me, but I rose from the dirt,
Made my pain a weapon, now watch it all hurt.
You don’t know the hell I’ve been through,
But if you step wrong, you’ll see what’s true.
I’m a survivor, heart cold as ice,
Born from the battle, pay the price.
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About the Artist
GenXjeezy
Member since October 15 2023