All The Same

Standin’ against the rested hood of my LeSabre, fingers sketchin’ patterns

In the windshield, this shit doesn’t just grip you, it latches

Onto you, it sermonizes, and you know I’m a believer

NYPD cruisers pulsing like heartbeats down the block, the city’s bleeding

It always does, the mayor wanna throw money at tech startups

And tourism ads, but nothing touches the rot in the corners of these parts though

I’m not just part of it, I’m one of its architects, I reach into the pocket

Of my jacket and pull out my Glock 43, don’t care if it’s illegal

Because it’s necessary if I wanna keep breathin’

Protection is just another drug in a place where people be vanishing

Like tabloid headlines, expensive and useless, but is it actually

The weight of my failures get lifted for fifteen minutes

Now I’m attempting to go back, I’m chasing the lift again

Take that shit like it’s communion, then I leave

And disappear into the crumbling ribs of the building

Which used to be beautiful, but now it’s just another relic

Then I hear a heavy crash coming from inside of it

The sound of someone falling through the bottom of themselves with pain

Light a cigarette and watch the smoke elevate

 

Licking the flames

Even when your skin’s already a reminder of your last mistake

It’s all the same ride

One that doesn’t even stop for gas while you’re busy pretending to drive

Licking the flames

Even when your skin’s already a reminder of your last mistake

It’s all the same ride

One that doesn’t even stop for gas while you’re busy pretending to drive

 

Ever seen a guy spiral down, like Breaking Bad without the chemistry

Just the breaking, it ain’t glamorous like Requiem’s cinematic misery

It’s you telling yourself you’ll quit, but you won’t, though

It starts off like a heist flick, except you’re going solo

You're casing your own life for weaknesses, first it’s your time

Then your wallet, then your fucking dignity, it’s organized

Self-destruction, with you as both the criminal and the crime scene

Pulling a one-man Purge on your future every goddamn day

Then the guilt crashes in harder than a DEA raid

The wreckage is biblical, more collateral damage than a Michael Bay movie has

Even your dog doesn’t wag his tail anymore when he greets ya

By the time you notice the flames, you’re standing in a house of ash

Wondering who lit the match, spoiler alert, it was you, dumbass

Light another cigarette and inhale, everything in the room fading

Nobody’s gonna find me tonight, cause no one’s looking, searching, or waiting

Just a silhouette in a forgotten building, breathing in ruin

And outside, the city’s glitterin’ indifferent to what’s stewin’

 

Licking the flames

Even when your skin’s already a reminder of your last mistake

It’s all the same ride

One that doesn’t even stop for gas while you’re busy pretending to drive

Licking the flames

Even when your skin’s already a reminder of your last mistake

It’s all the same ride

One that doesn’t even stop for gas while you’re busy pretending to drive

 

TV blinking with static, I push the door gently and it’s not locked

Sirens outside starting again, slicing wails from the cars of the cops

Moving through midnight, sounding like surgical nights, someone else is bleeding

Someone else had broke, miser multiplies fast where we from

It starts small, itty-bitty, like a quiet little itch beneath the skin and on your bones

Invisible, insidious, you ignore it, but it simmers like a skillet on low

Until one night you give in, tell yourself it’s only this time

But the bitch of it is that every time is this time when your spine is a lie

And then it hits and slides, slick and sinister like a snake in a silk tie

Suddenly you’re invincible, and you’re walking the line

Between thrill and kill, like it’s a tightrope tied around your neck

Inviting the fall, in fact you’re itching for it to take effect

Because falling’s the only time you feel anything close to flying

Crime’s your new hobby, picking locks with credit cards

Breaking rules is a ritual until reality comes and knocks

You’re knee-deep in ruin, but you call it survival

Even the silence gets sick of you, that’s the killer, it’s the idle, itchy isolation

You sit there scrolling old texts, but everyone’s gone, even your homie

Who once did business with a kid in a Pikachu hat and clothes too

 

Licking the flames

Even when your skin’s already a reminder of your last mistake

It’s all the same ride

One that doesn’t even stop for gas while you’re busy pretending to drive

Licking the flames

Even when your skin’s already a reminder of your last mistake

It’s all the same ride

One that doesn’t even stop for gas while you’re busy pretending to drive