why cant i control tears

Feeling empty everywhere,

Cuz there's scribbles in my head,

Times I was balling, now I’m feeling dead,

They flexing on my memories,

Still hear the laughter echo, got me lost in reverie.

 

I was a simple, life living, going slow, more care,

Now I'm chasing shadows, like a ghost, unaware.

Nostalgia hit me hard, like a brick to the dome,

Why the hell can’t I control tears, when I’m all alone?

 

Crying like a stupid kid, can’t shake the past,

Every memory’s a bullet, and the wounds are vast.

Do I not have the skills to control what I need?

Nostalgia creeping up, igniting all my fears.

 

Waves crash like pain, I’m just tryna float,

But these memories drown me, stuck in a boat.

Boys turning to ghosts, life’s a cruel thief,

Lost some real friends, man, that just too deep.

 

Flicks in my head, like a film on repeat,

Once we was grinding, now it hurts in defeat.

Sipping on a cold one, tryna forget,

But this past life’s a monster, ain’t no way to reset.

 

Crying like a stupid kid, can’t shake the past,

Every memory’s a bullet, and the wounds are vast.

Do I not have the skills to control what I need?

Nostalgia creeping up, igniting all my fears.

 

Man, I’m flexing hard, but inside I’m weak,

Tryna keep it bov, but this pain’s got me beat.

Dancing with the shadows, they don’t let me be,

Why can't I control tears? Am I really that weak?

 

Past like a storm, it’s a ruthless affair,

Memories stirring shadows, like they just don’t care.

Laughing with my gang, but it’s bittersweet now,

Its a game of chess, and I’m lost in the crowd.

 

So I scream to the skies, let it rain, let it fall,

Stimming every minute, I’m just giving my all.

But I’ll rise like the clouds, from this pain, I’ll emerge,

Turn these tears into fire, let the damn world surge.