"Ma"

it was a normal night like no other

thy the weather was cold as my heart

the birds and all the insects

was soaring throughout the night sky

soaring like there was nothing to lose

chirping as if there was nothing else to do

i was sitting at the top of a slanted hill

knees tucked close into my chest

hence i can feel my breath

like a needle through my paper thin skin

that would have kept me warm

warm like how a mother hugs ones kid as they are born

if i’d let my bitter thoughts melt from the caressing and her love

her passion for my life

i would not have caused the everlasting hurt

that felt deep, deeper than any steel knife

i was standing beneath catered with alls there was to give

never handed nothing back, never forgive

no purpose no closure no comfort whilst she lived

now i’m really standing above but for answers i have digged

wonder if she forgave, forgave me for my sin forgave for all i did

all i could have costed was a smile

that's the shape of the moon as i’m looking up the sky

why is it raining so much ma explain just as i cry

she disappeared into the moonlight with the flies

to be real i could not see with own eyes like i was blind from the truth

blind of the demise i was leading myself and everyone in

i fell into the hole i was not drowning yet but i never learnt to swim

bottomless pit i’ve hollowed

with past mistakes deceive and sorrow to last forever

everything i do every letter out of the blue shall always echo through you

i was not true nor was i lying but the only thing i know is that i love you

and it took me enough time to see it clearly

so this is my apology to you ma and i’ll just hope that you will hold it dearly