Self-Review (demo)
• Written by Tom_Hutchcraft
Tom_Hutchcraft's Notes
This is a DRAFT, used in my final presentation for a L2 counselling course.
I'll keep working on this and maybe release an official version in the future.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLFkft06ANQ
Yeah,
(Hook no.1) (x2)
I wonder how much one man can lose,
I wonder what he could do,
I wonder how much one man can lose,
I wonder, what could he choose?
(Verse 1)
In the school system no-one could help,
Runnin' round the playin' ground until the bell, sounds -
Way too much of them would echo around,
Overwhelmed, wishing I was somebody else,
Nervous as hell, and no-one could tell,
But there was no-one to tell cuz I was quiet as hell,
Athletic, empathetic, clever as well,
So it was just assumed that I was perfect in health,
Into my teens... still the same themes,
In fact, life got worse if anything,
Health on decline left my life on the line,
But, it seemed as though the pain opened my eyes,
I went searching for relief, diagnosis, or cure,
Led to a special interest in psych for sure,
The more I sought help, the more I matured,
And I'm sure it went well 'cus my intentions were pure.
(Hook no.1) x2
(Verse 2)
I feel old. Its been a long road to get here,
A load of lows - blood, sweat, tears,
It's like I sold my soul to steer clear of death,
Only to stay afloat 'till next year,
A peer appears - peers through the window but,
You know, it's hidden to my worst fears,
Even if revered, cheers,
But I'll never live up to my early years as a gifted kid,
What twisted, sadistic shit,
Teach a kid to fish,
But not to help him when he gets sick,
'He's excellent he doesn't have to sweat it,
He just gets it,
No revision for a test, piss-
Easy for him, it's no question,
And get this, fully independent,
You know he'll never have a problem
And even if he does, you know he's gonna solve 'em',
Daily, that's what they would say to me,
Lately, it feels like betrayal to me,
I hate me, for expectation they placed on me,
And failed to see the jail that they made for me,
I finally got a job! But, it happened to coincide with,
S*****e that happened to my Mum,
So that didn't last long,
It was fun but, back to the cave where just I belong...
(Hook no.1) x2
(Bridge)
I feel like a failure, I know I certainly didn't do enough to save her,
Maybe now a rescuer, but I hope it won't hurt for me to learn to be a helper.
I hope it don't hurt for me to learn to save her,
Yeah, I think I wanna be a counsellor...
(Beat Switch)
(Hook no. 2) x2
I'm feeling like a -
I'm feeling like a -
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm feeling like a -
I'm feeling like a -
Yeah, What? Huh?
(Verse 3)
Those shrinks really helped me to grow,
To focus on PD as well as the woe,
And free me from External LO Control,
And all of those people who think that they know,
But they don't,
And the negative seeds that they sow,
Even those close, they believed it weren't so,
For that reason, I seek truth on my own,
Only therapists can see through to my soul,
Maybe that's why I aspire to be,
Like those who inspired a fire in me,
Decided to apply at CRC,
And study counselling skills - CPCAB - but see,
Initially it was anxiety but, symbolised,
Potentially, ability to actualise, essentially,
A better me... eventually.
(DELETED Verse 3)
Come through feeling like I know kung-fu,
Bumb move feeling like I'm some dumb fool,
But I'm young, new, and I'm tough too,
Everything that life threw might've bust noobs,
Might've done you and your whole crew, too,
Like, it nearly killed me but, I'm still me, filthy,
The way I spill these pills ... and ink cartridges,
Yeah, I've got to think past all this, I don't want a disaster miss,
I need to be Optimus in his prime, if I want to get a pass on this.
(DELETED Bridge no. 2)
Of course, this course, makes all this Freudian bliss,
It's obvious... It's obvious...
Of course, this course, makes all this Freudian bliss,
It's obvious... It's obvious...
(Hook no.2) x2
(Verse 4)
The further that I go on this course 'I'm feeling like a' -
Made the right decision, I even like revision,
And, the core conditions are giving me permission to be myself,
Before, I had no clue what I was missin',
But fuck the indecision, and my lack of punctuality,
The Lord thought of disabilities just to challenge me,
You'd a thought Christianity had it out for me,
The trauma, and the damaging,
Uh,
Study and researching Rogers and Egan,
Meant empathy, listening, were that bit more easy,
But silence and summary were hard at the start for me,
Silence, especially, was awkward,
And laughing was part of the coping,
But after we learned structure,
Summary was customary,
Silence felt summery,
What is becoming of me?
My heart on my sleeve,
This is why I can't leave.
(Beat switch)
(Hook no.3) x2
I can't leave...
I-I can't leave...
(NOW)
I can't leave...
I-I can't leave...
(NOW)
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About the Artist
Tom_Hutchcraft
Member since August 8 2019