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Eminem:The Real Slim Shady Lyrics

  1.  
  2. May I have your attention, please?
  3. May I have your attention, please?
  4. Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
  5. I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
  6. We're gonna have a problem here
  7.  
  8. [Verse 1]
  9. Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
  10. Jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
  11. And started whoopin' her ass worse than before
  12. They first were divorced, throwin' her over furniture (Agh!)
  13. It's the return of the "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding
  14. He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
  15. And Dr. Dre said… nothing, you idiots!
  16. Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (ha ha!)
  17. Feminist women love Eminem
  18. "Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
  19. Look at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you know what
  20. Flippin' the you know who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though."
  21. Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
  22. But no worse than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms
  23. Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose
  24. But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
  25. "My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
  26. And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
  27. And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
  28. And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
  29. Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
  30. By the time they hit fourth grade
  31. They've got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
  32. We ain't nothin' but mammals—well, some of us, cannibals
  33. Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
  34. But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
  35. Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
  36. But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
  37. Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes—
  38.  
  39. [Hook]
  40. I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
  41. All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
  42. So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
  43. Please stand up, please stand up?
  44. 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
  45. All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
  46. So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
  47. Please stand up, please stand up?
  48.  
  49. [Verse 2]
  50. Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
  51. Well, I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
  52. You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
  53. Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
  54. "But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
  55. Why, so you guys could just lie to get me here?
  56. So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
  57. Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
  58. So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
  59. And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
  60. Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
  61. "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee hee."
  62. I should download her audio on MP3
  63. And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD
  64. I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
  65. All you do is annoy me, so I have been sent here to destroy you
  66. And there's a million of us just like me
  67. Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
  68. Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
  69. And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me
  70.  
  71. [Hook]
  72. 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
  73. All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
  74. So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
  75. Please stand up, please stand up?
  76. 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
  77. All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
  78. So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
  79. Please stand up, please stand up?
  80.  
  81. [Verse 3]
  82. I'm like a head trip to listen to, ‘cause I'm only givin' you
  83. Things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' room
  84. The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all
  85. And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all
  86. I just get on the mic and spit it
  87. And whether you like to admit it, I just shit it
  88. Better than 90% of you rappers out can
  89. Then you wonder: "How can
  90. Kids eat up these albums like Valiums?"
  91. It's funny, ‘cause at the rate I'm going, when I'm 30
  92. I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
  93. Pinching nurse's asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens
  94. And I'm jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
  95. And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
  96. He could be working at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings
  97. Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming, "I don't give a fuck!"
  98. With his windows down and his system up
  99. So will the real Shady please stand up
  100. And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
  101. And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
  102. And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
  103.  
  104. [Hook]
  105. I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
  106. All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
  107. So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
  108. Please stand up, please stand up?
  109. 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
  110. All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
  111. So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
  112. Please stand up, please stand up?
  113. 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
  114. All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
  115. So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
  116. Please stand up, please stand up?
  117. 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
  118. All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
  119. So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
  120. Please stand up, please stand up?
  121.  
  122. [Outro]
  123. Ha ha, I guess there’s a Slim Shady in all of us
  124. Fuck it, let’s all stand up!
  125.  
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  130.  
  131.  

Lyrics added by MasterOfRaps

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