BUILDING BLUEPRINT

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Lyrical Analysis of...

ANGEL IN THE CHAOS

  1. I been in places where the darkness had a temperature and weight,
  2. Where the violence wasn't background noise, it was the daily landscape
  3. Concrete walls and chaos and the sound of men unraveling,
  4. Where peace of mind was currency and nobody was traveling Toward
  5. anything that looked like hope or light or open air, Just the grind of metal
  6. doors and the weight of the despair. I been surrounded by the kind of chaos
  7. that rewires you,
  8.  
  9. That makes you question everything you thought that you knew to be true.
  10. But in the middle of the madness, in the belly of the storm,
  11. There was a voice that reached me like it didn't need a form—
  12. That phone Became my tether to the outside world,
  13. didn't need a visiting room,
  14. It cut right through the concrete and the violence and the gloom.
  15. A three thousand miles of distance and it landed like a touch,
  16. The voice of my mother —and I never needed it so much.
  17. She didn’t know exactly where my mind was in that moment,
  18. But God did, and God routed her straight through to my component,
  19. The part of me that's still the boy who sat at her kitchen table,
  20. The part that never hardened, that was always somehow able
  21. To hear her in the frequency beneath the noise and pain —
  22. Her voice the only constant when the everything had gone insane.
  23. Forty three and 41 years of sobriety —
  24. she knew what chaos costs, She knew the territory,
  25. she had counted all her losses, And she still picked up the phone
  26. with something steady in her throat, Something that translated through the
  27. distance like a lifeline thrown to boats Adrift in open water —
  28. and I grabbed it with both hands. A Three thousands of miles away she
  29. made me feel I could walk again when I couldn’t even stand.
  30. I speak for My Brother Jeffrey too —he knows the weight of what
  31. I'm saying, He been in the r ooms where men give up on anything
  32. worth praying, And still her voice the thing that kept the anchor in the
  33. ground, The one consistent thread of grace in all the chaos that we had
  34. found. And Benjamin —my youngest brother —he can testify the same,
  35. Three boys who came from nothing but who carry her good name. Three
  36. boys who found the floor and found it harder than expected, Three boys
  37. who called one woman and came back feeling resurrected. That's not a
  38. metaphor, that's not my pride and ego embellishing the real —That's Ryan,
  39. Jeffrey, Benjamin, bearing witness to what we feel When we say this
  40. woman held us in the places we can't say, In the places where the cameras
  41. ain't and everything was gray. She raised three sons alone. Let that s
  42. tatement find its weight. Not with a partner standing in the gap, not with a
  43. safety gate —Just herself and God and Nana and a little blue store That
  44. she made feel like the whole world when we couldn't want for more.
  45. We had nothing in the way that the world counts having things, But she
  46. made nothing feel like everything that loving us could brings. Never went to bed
  47. hungry —that's a promise and a feat When the dollars wasn't stretching and
  48. the month outlived the heat. She made a way. She always made a way
  49. where there was none. She did it quiet, did it faithful, did it under every sun
  50. That rose on circumstances that would break a different person in to bits,
  51. But she met each one with grace and never let the wound persist.
  52. She taught me compassion is more powerful than anger ever was,
  53. That the fist don't build a legacy —it only breaks it up because That's all a
  54. fist can do. But an open hand can raise a man From the concrete where
  55. he's fallen, give him somewhere he can stand. And when she raised her
  56. voice it's 'cause she saw what we couldn't see —She modeled every
  57. value in the living, not the form. I don't receive her words as information
  58. when she speaks, I receive them as wisdom handed down from ancient
  59. mountain peaks —Like she talked to something higher and came back with
  60. what we need Before we even knew we needed it, before we felt the
  61. bleed.
  62. God spent extra time on her. I know that in my bones. The careful
  63. architecture of a woman who atones For nothing —she ain't got a debt —
  64. but moves like she is grateful For the breathing and the morning and the
  65. love of something faithful. That's the model. That's the blueprint. That's the
  66. standard she installed Before I had the language for the values, before I
  67. heard the call Of fatherhood, before Aisha looked at me with those eyes —I
  68. already had the template and it came wrapped in her ties.
  69. Now I'm a father. Three girls carrying what she passed to me. Aisha and
  70. Lailah and every generation yet to be —They got a little angel in them and I
  71. know exactly where it's from. It traveled through the bloodline from the origin,
  72. from the one Woman who decided she would give more than she was given,
  73. Who decided that her boys would know what it meant to be living With
  74. integrity and purpose and compassion in the center. That decision echoes
  75. forward through every room my daughters enter. When Aayah shows her
  76. kindness, that's my mother's hand at work. When Aisha and Lailah smiles at
  77. strangers, I see her underneath the surface. Jeffrey's children will carry it.
  78. Benjamin's children will carry it to. Every grandchild in this lineage has
  79. inherited the spirit Of a woman who survived the storm and came out on the
  80. other side With forty one years of sobriety and nothing left to hide. I wear
  81. her name as a badge of honor everywhere I go —Not as a burden, not
  82. performance —as a way to let her know That everything she poured into
  83. the vessel didn't spill, It transferred and it multiplied and it's transferring still.
  84. In the jail, in the chaos, in the violence and the noise —Her voice was the
  85. only thing that cut through like signal through the void. At thousand miles
  86. and she still reached me. That isn’t phone and wire. That's a mother and
  87. her God maintaining something higher Than distance, higher than the walls,
  88. higher than the years —That's the love that don't require presence 'cause it
  89. always Reappears Right when you need it most, right when the floor gives
  90. way beneath. I survived. Jeffrey survived. Benjamin survived. We all three
  91. breathe Because one woman chose to hold us when the world said let them
  92. fall. She never let us fall. Forty three years, three boys, she held us all. And
  93. all our children's children have a little bit of angel in them.
  94. That angel got a name. And we thank God every day He sent her.

Lyrics added by DonWizdom

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RHYME LENGTH

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2 syllables
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4 syllables
5+ syllables
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