DEFENDER'S RAP

• I remember back in December, 2001's birth of an ember. My little sister.
• She was the only thing on my wish list.
• Born on Christmas. My dad became unemployed, started to toy with drugs that doctors fed him.
• Lead him to draw disability, I remember it all, you see.
• My parents seperated, forced me to choose all aggravated.
• Man, the men my mom dated, I hated, more drugs, and violence.
• I was quite, waiting in silence, I wanted heaven so at the age of 7,
• I was suicidal, a vital part of my life, a kid with a knife.
• about a year later, tears and strange behaviors, my parents reunited, but they still fist fighted,
• When I was 10 my brother was born, another sworn in..
• to this shaming sin but I won't pretend, they're why I'm here in the end.
• Still, you could hear the card clicking, the nicking of a tooter.
• I'd hide the kids but as best as I did, they'd pull the lid.
• I was a full time father, no bother of help to take care of them.
• At the age of 13 I was a loner in school, a stoner, a tool. Started smoking cigs,
• cause it's cool, you dig?.. yeah. When I was 16, I moved in with my aunt
• memories they would still taunt. Yet I still got clean because of the want, got a job, a car.
• good grades, a star. Even a girl, but looking back I wanted to hurl.
• She had a child but she wasn't wild, and we loved so hard.
• Her parents like those that scarred my fantasies, got an even better job.
• Thanks to her dad, I loved her little lad. She ended it. I spiralled wildly.
• Drinking and smoking, crashed an $18,000 car drunk, scars.
• Lost my job after, forced back with my parents, I used to be proud. How'd it all go south, so fast?
• Nothing lasts like I need. Just another victim of that white trash breed.