CHALLENGER'S RAP

• im fuckin done with life but that dont mean im suicidal
• every time i run my mind i see the hate and cry though
• every wild night of violent nightmares i lie scared and ask god why im not dead
• he aint replied yet but when he does he better be reliable
• and not fuck me over like all them other fucking lying hoes
• my mother father and friends from primary school they resided in me
• but when i need then they fucking leave me wishing
• fishing for help in a sea of nothing but sea weed
• for three years ive been in and out of psychiatric residnts
• and thats the present tense
• what were you expecting that loading me up on meds would make me better
• forever
• you sit me down with therapists who tell me not to hear this shit
• but hip hop saved me you didnt stop taking credit for lupe,pac,and eminem
• tech, biggie and kendrick coz if it wernet for them id have a severed neck
• you see this shit i write its the closest you gonna ever get
•  
• this aint no rage its my fucking life story
• a parent should die for me not leave me to die in agony
• shove me off to care when you dont get your own problems dealt with
• i hope everyone who hears this felt this
• so they can feel my pain and see im helpless
• so they cant see my face just the tears that are pelting
• down like rain how would you felt if
• you got locked up for saying how you felt bitch
• in a room with no heating freezing cold in the winter for months
• clawin at the door till your bleeding
• being manhandled and beaten by nurses just because your grieving
• jesus if only you could be me and i could be you so i could see freedom
• and not live with the fear of readmission
• and then you sit me down in therapy and tell me not to listen to rap
• but rap saved my life and these words i write are the closest your ever gonna get to how im feeling
• respect to everyone whos stuck by me
• jack, marcus,flo, ash and DA but the rest of you fucked me over and want me misplaced