DEFENDER'S RAP

• You're back again after I've told you this battle had ended?
• You're like one of those kids who keep begging in court even after they've been arrested.
• And this 'movie' that you've presented and directed better have my name in the end credits
• Because my presence was ultimately the essence of your 'weapons' and your vengeance..?
•  
• And I agree completely, a resumè is needed
• But yours was rarely a skeleton of one, you forgot to include what you have ALREADY succeeded (in)
• Because so far, all I read were ambitions and dreams
• And my poor mind was wondering where the Hell were all your receipts
•  
• Here's MY resume:
• 2026 RESUMÈ
• Applicant: Snivelly_Snape
• Position Applying For: Professional Critic
• Education: ... Confidential (classified information. We don't talk about it... (or Bruno)Like the song We Don't Talk About Bruno lol)
• Work experience: Occasional battle-rapper on a certain site, imaginary podcast host (no listeners confirmed), bootleg version of a certain character
• Skills: Advanced sarcasm, excellent ability to procrastinate then panic, being efficient in using efficiency last
• Awards/Achievements: Survived rap battles without being physically harmed, made someone explain why their resume was necessary, The Real Slim Shady Nobel Prize Award (currently pending)
• References: My own ego (currently unavailable), my keyboard (witnessed everything), my friends (who don't care)
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• "Now, Mr. AQ08, please stand up. What's your side of the story before we decide to rethink the verdict?"
• -
• I had asked for evidence but you gave me another TED Talk,
• You really had a chance to properly attack me but you couldn't even pick up the hint that you had to sharpen your sword.
• You're defending the right to call yourself something, but not why you deserve it.
• It's not that hard, I'm not asking you for something elaborate.
•  
• Court is dismissed, everyone can go home - the defendant brought a spear-sword instead of a lawyer
• He really thought he'd get away with threatened-slaughter just because he thinks he's a warrior
• The only thing that was scary about this horror movie was the paperwork it came with
• I honestly better shots at having a decent conversation with Goliath
• So thank you for watching this cinematic event,
• Five stars for explosions, two for the plot development.