DEFENDER'S RAP

• Y'all act like you never seen people f**king before
• Parents burst in the door, catchin' their kid j*rkin' it on the floor
• Your dad starts beatin' your a** worse than before
• "What if Jesus was watching?" hell, i'd just jеrk it some more
• It's the rеturn of the "Oh, wait no way, you're kidding
• He didn't just make fun of our religion did he?"
• And some random b*t*h on Twitter said... nothing, you idiots
• The b*t*h is dead, she's locked in my basement
• Feminist women love Eminem
• "Like oh my f**king God, it's Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
• Look at him, walkin' around calling us hoes and thots
• Drunk texting me out of the blue, yeah but i thought you were into dudes?"
• I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
• But no worse than the silly people who voted for Ted Cruz
• Sometime I wanna get on Twitter and just let loose
• But can't, so instead I beg Dua Lipa to send n***s
• "Send a pic of your t**s, send a pic of your t**s"
• And if you're lucky, I might just send you one of my d**k
• And that's the message we deliver to random chicks
• Like they can't see how f**ked up the Internet is
• So of course we know how f**ked up the world is
• By the time we hit fourth grade
• And hear guns poppin' off in the hallway
• We ain't nothin' but mammals—well, some of you can't handle
• That your step-sis is in the next room
• And your parents won't be back until afternoon
• "Hey sis, you wanna screw?"
• 'Cause there's no reason that you and your step sister can't elope
• So go ahead, give her a** another stroke
• Snort another line of coke, sing the chorus, and it goes—
• I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
• All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
• So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
• Please stand up, please stand up?
• 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
• All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
• So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
• Please stand up, please stand up?
• Doja Cat don't gotta post n***s to sell records
• Well I do, so subscribe to my OnlyFans too!
• You think I give a damn about a GRAMMY?
• Half of you snowflakes can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
• "But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be lit?"
• Why, so you guys can get mad when I say the word "B*t*h?"
• And when I beat my meat while I rage tweet
• Sh*t, is that Kanye West? Better switch me seats
• So I can sit next to Jhené Aiko and flirt
• And fantasize about her giving me a little head first
• And Kanye West still thinks we're talking about him
• "Yeah I really am the man, I should text Kim again"
• I should download her audio on MP3
• And show the whole world how Ariana Grande can't sing
• I'm sick of you little Tik-Tok groups
• All you do is annoy me, so I have been sent here to cancel you
• And there's a million of us just like me
• Who cuss like me, who just wanna get a nut like me
• Who cross-dress like me: walk, talk and f**k like me
• And just might be, the next gay rapper, but not quite me