DEFENDER'S RAP

• i found my worth, now when does the pain stop
• im down to earth,
• like an unseen raindrop.
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• It's complicated, being isolated. I am either devastated, or elated.
• So much so, that I get jaded, and honestly, I've been complacent in stagnation.
• Feelings of desolation, vicious cycle, if it's something I created.
• Determinism vs freewill, still in navigation, the cards I've been designated.
• Feelings of separation, among the tribe, stings more than a broken friendship bracelet.
• Too much judgment without hesitation, not enough thoughtful conversation.
• -Attempts of articulation, misunderstood, dismissed- dissimulation.
• Started pondering nuggets of truth, in hurtful statements.
• -Deep depression, got medicated, cold-turkey, iatrogenic somatization.
• -Unhealed traumatization, no close relationships, just a kid, with a beautiful imagination.
• Never lost myself amidst life's insatiation, they don't see the resilience in self-love against self-hatred.
• In self-talk, how I've been complainin' about this same thing that I'm not changin'.
• Forgetting to have patience with myself, forgetting the progress that I've been makin'.
• The generational curses that I'm already breakin', I said, generational curses that I'm already breakin'
• -A milestone the snakes have invalidated.
• They revealed themselves, the same ones that tried to help, these people are overrated.
• With barely basic emotional intelligence having trust betrayed, in ventilation.
• -I see it, fear and anxiety are the only motivations if the response is a shameful connotation.
• Even if it's merely perceived, this ostracization
• Painful nonetheless, unrest, can't tell if it's the caffeine or intense loneliness causing these heart palpitations.
• What keeps me going, is knowing the ones that have 100% related.
• And considering what my age is, young and going through the ringer,
• So I think what lingers will be amazing.