DEFENDER'S RAP

• I feel like I don't know how to explain what it feels like
• So many analogies I could use in comparison to this being real life
• I feel like a circus act, in fact I feel like I'm a pale clown being weighed down by 8 thousand steel knives
• Pinning flesh to board, a little slice of life, opening up to the concealment behind an empty morgue of my heart's revealed lies;
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• (And I realize the veil.)
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• In this firmament, the world I've spent ostracized, dust to dust my head burrowed —
• No air to breathe, no way to vent
• It feels like the Devil borrowed my soul without consent.
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• Trying so hard to distract myself but I get distracted by the fact that I shouldn't have to always distract myself, so reality winds up and slaps me clean across the fucking face.
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• You have no choice but to enjoy the feeling and be a masochist to take these emotions on the chin when your spirit has already been gut-punched so much you can no longer stomach pain.
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• But I'll hardly ever say never, depression can't win them all —
• If it's after my livelihood then it's officially WAR I'M DECLARING
• I won't give up until my dying breath, best bet it'll be a brawl —
• It's kicking my ass . . I'm on its tail . . Do I really need, MORE OF THIS THERAPY . . ?
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• Raw will, in lieu - I'm
• A tenant living inside depression's head rent free and I don't cook,
• Only cans of whoop-ass.
• I feel like a soldier and depression is a war crook —
• I can't look past.
• When every time it retaliated, it took the past —
• For me to look at.
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• These are the conversations I have with myself when depression thinks it's winning the fight,
• Now it's my turn to ask depression what this uppercut feels like, I'm sleight of hand —
• I'm as worthless as the teal sky. /Right, psyche?
• It's these hurdles I had to jump over in order to really realize, I am not solely defined nor identified by what the fuck I'm feeling like.
• Depression won't stop me from living my life, when depression finally kills itself I'll be able to do whatever the fuck I feel like.