CHALLENGER'S RAP

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• May I have your attention, please?
• Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
• I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
• We're gonna have a problem here
• Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
• Jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
• And started whoopin' her ass worse than before
• They first were divorced, throwin' her over furniture (agh!)
• It's the return of the "ah, wait, no way, you're kidding
• He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
• And Dr. Dre said, nothing, you idiots!
• Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (ha ha!)
• Feminist women love Eminem
• "Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
• Look at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you-know-what
• Flippin' the you-know-who"
• "Yeah, but he's so cute though"
• Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
• But no worse than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms
• Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose
• But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
• "My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
• And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
• And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
• And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
• Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
• By the time they hit fourth grade
• They've got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
• We ain't nothin' but mammals, well, some of us, cannibals
• Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
• But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
• Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
• But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
• Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes
• I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
• All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
• So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
• Please stand up, please stand up?
• 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
• All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
• So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
• Please stand up, please stand up?
• Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
• Well, I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
• You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
• Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
• "But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
• Why, so you guys could just lie to get me here?
• So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
• Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
• So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
• And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
• Little bitch put me on