DEFENDER'S RAP

• I guess I am a problem
• the result of no condom
• why should I be allowed to bathe in stardom
• so keep me at the bottom where I feel numb and forgotten
• don't even listen when I'm talkin cause that's just more time you are wastin'
• just leave me in the dark to OD on this medicine
• it's supposed to help my anxiety but I take it for the adrenaline
• I keep throwing people my trust but they keep on fumblin'
• I use the rope to cut off my oxygen
• then everybody is surprised like it's all of a sudden
• when I hang myself from the ceiling like a mistletoe because of all the judgin'
• be careful I am brittle, under the slightest pressure I start crumblin'
• I don't know why I write this shit, every time I try and rap I start stutterin'
• when it comes to rap, I have fun but I should just give up and say I'm done
• there's a reason why I call myself broken and rejected
• as a kid, I was neglected
• so I learned to keep my mouth shut because no one cared where what I had to say was headed
• and that's why I'm always quite cause I think that's what's expected of me
• but it's ok
• what I had to say probably wasn't even that important anyway
• so around people silent is something I stay
• and to be honest, I've never really had a birthday
• too many people I guess
• too many people I'd try and impress
• so much anxiety over how I would dress
• the last few months have been a pretty difficult process
• trying to get clean but not seeing any progress
• I really wanna stay clean for my princess
• but it's causing me so much stress
• I'm on the verge of grabbing that needle and going back to being a mess
• but just the thought of her being proud of me is enough for me to press forward