DEFENDER'S RAP

• drinking till my brain is drowning in whiskey
• forever on lockdown trying to hide my personality
• studying my brain to understand it clearly
• trying to wait patiently but giving up quickly
• these voices in my head, all the pain they bring me
• I wanna throw out this depressing mentality
• I've been searching for my sanity
• I'm haunted by my tragedy
• wish this was a fantasy, but it's my fuckin reality
• my life is like a scraped knee
• cause it's not too bad but sometimes it can get a little bloody
• sometimes when things really get tough I get overwhelmed by anxiety
• I treat most of these songs like a therapy
• but unlike therapy, some kind of result is no guarantee
• people say this is a disease, so where is my remedy
• come on now, cook up that recipe
• or maybe just gimme another refill of ecstasy
• and lately, my mind has been overdosing on jealousy
• love is like food and for a while now I've been starvin'
• into a hole of depression I've fallen
• and for the past 6 years, I've been fallin
• I feel like I've been forgotten
• but it's all good cause it's become kinda common
• sorta fell in love with the taste of the barrel of this shotgun
• feels like I've been chasing something that i will never catch like that little bald dude or Marvin the Martian
• I'm dangerous, surrounded by tap labeled caution
• giving up on rap, that's not an option
• I'd become nothin, a nobody
• brain dead like a zombie
• I really wanna blow up like a kamikaze
• and will I be that big someday, probably
• just kidding, its not likely
• but I don't write this shit for the money
• i do this because it cools my anxiety and makes me feel confident in society
• but i'll probably give in and become some corporation's dancing monkey