DEFENDER'S RAP

• Instead of pulling strings, I been pulling broken triggers,
• Tryna blow my brain just so I can focus quicker,
• Knife to stop the pain, next to a bottle of open liquor
• Stand out in the rain, all the medicine makes me fucking sicker
• want to be big, but I'm too small to reach the global picture
• man, I can't stand my face, I can barely even hold a mirror,
• Cause all I see is shame, a silhouette of a broken figure
• I've done too much to say, All I know is that I'm a hoping sinner
• I'd rather pass the plate than eat another atrocious dinner
• only thing left in my soul is a faint light, a dozing flicker
• I've made sacrifices just to close away humanity
• But I've just grown to create a dickhead personality
• In my head, I developed a whole entire calamity
• No way to stop until God deceases damning me
• without any help, I have no idea what my plan will be,
• Guess I'll go the plan B, planting the,
• bomb inside my head that will end me entirely,
• Setting a peak at the destruction of my sanity
• Pass the mic, I only choke on meds,
• Stand on a stage and rap bout fuckin' death
• Suck in a breath, who stole my mind? this is theft
• I'm gonna end up ending myself just like the rest
• I ain't the best, but I like to think I am,
• Just because I can't get support from friends,
• I been telling myself that I ain't it since I was ten
• When I used to think it was cool to do drugs with older men
• I used to steal shit from people, never forgetting I'm owing them
• My life, after I ruined theirs and disclosed their friends
• and family from everything that ever had to do with them
• I used to fuck other people up, thinking it was a heroic feat
• People wanted me gone without ever even knowing me
• I lost to my demons, end of the match it'll be 0 and 3
• I had no chance, my battle is now a closed defeat.
• I used all my energy, and in the end I used most of me
• Now I now pain, not when I fall down, choke and bleed
• But when I'm all alone, can't stop sounding like a preacher,
• I'm just saying all my struggles, the rhymes are an added feature
• It's hard to do this shit, hard to be the speaker
• When you're leaving the life of an isolated creature.