DEFENDER'S RAP

• Earnest confessions
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• marvelled by mac elevens
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• aint no question if we gon' to heaven
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• popping meds since a little one,
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• had that vibe once, fuck these other cunts,
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• killing dreams 'cause I'm fucked inside,
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• and killing vibes 'cause I died inside,
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• didn't cut wrists , thought about consuming chemicals,
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• escaping troubles; feel like a caged animal,
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• trapped in my mother's home, there's bottles
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• smoke entering my nostrils, I can't breathe
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• I am beneath----hell, and now I don't even need the Lamb
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• life is a scam, just move on and flick the program
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• aint no superman but I'm a fucking madman
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• incapable of understanding the planning
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• of really passing and really killing myself
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• yet the dark gloomy sky falling and crashing
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• striking disasters, seeking for some answers,
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• flicking through the chapters of all my life,
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• I need a knife; I need a gun, need power,
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• over myself; I need help, advice and love,
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• to feel God's warmth and generosity,
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• and answer my keen curiosity.