DEFENDER'S RAP

• i'm having a weak moment
• i'm cracking my heart frozen
• happiness,does it exist
• please tell me there's more than just this
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• it's so obvious to me
• why cant the oblivious see
• this reality is a fucking fallacy
• the remains of a memory
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• writhing pains of history
• Trying in vain to overcome this misery
• This should only last for a moment
• It should end soon, wont it
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• Last time was with my vein opened
• This time will be my brain showing
• Breath heavy, no hold it, i'm about ready
• Steel shaking, better hold it steady
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• Tear running down my face
• My mind starts to rewind
• To another time, another place
• Its a hollow point, just in case
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• The pain is getting to be too much
• My finger pressing on the trigger
• Anticipating feeling the bullet punch
• Wondering if I will feel my skull crunch
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• I can feel the other coming
• that fucking voice in my head
• My finger is now struggling
• I thought by now Id be dead
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• He is showing me a memory
• One I am trying not to see
• Images of me being happy
• NO! Fucking worlds better off without me
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• I feel my finger relax a bit
• Which pisses me off, so in anger
• I make a fist, I fucking pull it...I hear a click
• My friend took the firing pin out of there, out of fear
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• I will always be in his debt
• I almost did something I wouldn't be able to regret
• So everyone out there with a mind on suicide
• Just hold on, things will be fine, things can change at any time
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• Just grab a pad and pen
• Let your emotions flow
• It will help you mentally mend
• Just don't give yourself to the fire below