CHALLENGER'S RAP

• You know I've been thinking, listening to myself for a while, when was the last time
• I actually meant a smile, I put your number in a couple times then i didn't redial,
• Every move I make in my life sends me into a backwards spiral, can't say this, don't say that,
• Feels Like my life is on trial, my life is a crazy story but I forgot the title, feel like I'm
• Already dead don't need a revival, these thoughts in my head got me reaching for the Bible,
• And it really fucking hurts thinking, "am I suicidal", now my life like an act, call it a drama
• Recital, wanna be alone right now but I got no where to hide though, my life is replaying
• Itself like a visious cycle, everyday feel like it's the last, living in survival, my life is a test
• And I'm waiting for the final, feel like every mistake I make seems to go viral, got this bad
• Feeling, I can feel it in my vitals..
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• (Wait..)
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• Wish I could say after all this time that I am better, but that's not how it is, still dealing
• With the pressure, wish i was happy, just need a simple gesture, on the inside I am
• Cold but won't put on a sweater, long sleeves all the time, blame it on the weather,
• So many things I wanna say, but won't right a single letter, some times I miss the time
• When we were happy together, but after all this I wonder what I had entered,
• But you weren't the problem, that's what I wanna remember, told her not to do it
• But I let her, my life like a story, but all the bad stuff is censored, wanna feel free,
• Light as a feather, you used to be an uplift but now you make me feel lesser,
• Got all these feelings inside, they're burning like an ember..
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• (Wait..)
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• So dear my past self, I'm sorry this has happened, you were different back then, you
• Never would of allowed this, used to be happy, now I gotta practice, my life
• Like a volcano, over flowing with sadness, was happy once, then I faded to the
• Blackness, I got one question to ask, please let me ask this, is the old me gone,
• Or buried in the ashes, never thought this would of happened, what are the
• Chances, always been low, never really had an advantage, this shit hard to
• Cope with, can't cover it with a bandage, we walked over that bridge too many
• Times, now it is damaged, the old me is gone, left alone and abandoned,
• Said I forgot about you, but deep down I know I haven't, you left when I was 13,
• Since then you've been absent, you said happiness will come back but it still
• Hasn't, that's long forgotten, nothing but an Ashland...